Showing posts with label entrepreneur. Show all posts
Showing posts with label entrepreneur. Show all posts

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Keeping it Weird: How To Be Genuine AND Authentic

I treasure the times when I get to see myself through someone else's eyes, as a "reality check" so I know that my view of myself isn't the only way to look at it.

Recently, had a friend house sit for me, take care of the animals, etc. So I toured her through the house... here are the pots and pans, here's the pantry, the towels are in the bathroom, etc. When she's seen the whole house, she does a puzzled 360 and asks, "Where do you have your TV?"

The look on her face when I divulged that I don't have a TV was priceless. Really thought she was going to have a heart attack.

"What do you do in the evening?"

"Silent prayer."

But I relented after a heartbeat and told her about wifi, which gets you YouTube (she could visit my dozens of videos at humanbio4everyone, as well as TV shows, music videos, comedy, news), and I introduced her to coursera.org, and my collection of audio books, music CDs, and books.

We are all peculiar in our own ways, and I DO know that I am weirder than most. I'm a spiritual and transformational (science-based) healer, so you have to figure I am going to be a few degrees off true north, but I never really realize how weird I truly am until I encounter one of these conversations.

Wait until you hear how I celebrate Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve..... nah, that's a story for another day.

What matters is that you allow yourself to be seen as you truly are, with your values that come from your heart, that you love and are proud of yourself for those values. When someone sees who you are truly are, in all the glory of your soul, you have let them into the mystery that is you, and that is a precious gift.

If they gulp, look terrified and aver that yeah, they could learn how to read books again, that is a true friend. [When it came down to it, she gorged on audio books from the Great Courses and fell in love with my sweet dwarf rabbit.. and my extra-size tub and lavender epsom salts.]

Living inside my own head, I think my life choices and values are Normal. And that's how I've become who I am today - watching and experiencing all the wild and wonderful weirdness that other people showed me, some of which sparked answering chords in the music of MY heart.



https://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/news/171220-arctic-fox-close-vin-spd?utm_source=NatGeocom&utm_


Write From Your Heart; Learn to Love Veggies & Exercise; More... transformation for 2018!

GREAT New Classes for 2018 on the Learn It Live platform!  Join me and start transforming yourself from the inside out......




Embrace the 3 Wise Women - Connecting, Healing and Creating - and the tools they use to make you come ALIVE in body, mind and spirit!

In Connecting, you practice powerful new practices of meditation (moving!) and mindfulness that bring you into direct communication with your need and essential Heart.... 

The Wise Woman of Healing brings you reiki energy healing, the spiritual practice that the AMA says is science and evidence-based, for pain and anxiety .Because when the distraction and drama is stripped away, when the frustration and anger are not driving your bus, you come alive with all your energy. When you are healed of your harmful patterns, you are coming from Love and living in your Heart. You will have activities to practice, and a series of videos to watch while you do!

The Wise Woman of Creating brings you the alchemical power to bring beauty to the world. Many people have embraced coloring as a road to this expansiveness, but you will go much deeper. You will also learn how to create a new you through hypnosis.... the ultimate act of creation is the forging of new Heart to replace the parts that you've outgrown and that don't serve you.

This is an action packed workshop..... not to listen to, but to engage you in your transformation!


Writing from the heart is a POWERFUL tool for stress reduction and for spiritual growth and personal insights. In the first class you get an action plan to follow to make writing part of your proactive physical health care, by sharply reducing your levels of cortisol, the dangerous stress hormone.

In the second class, you will get a second action toolkit that gives you spiritual growth and personal insight.
This is not a simple learning about it class - you get actionable plans that will make a noticeable difference in your daily happiness level!    NO critiques. Writing practices cover a dozen types of writing, so you can work at them all and decide which ones are "what you need right now."

This class will open up your heart on multiple levels, fill you with spiritual and emotional joy and allow you to hear your own unique "voice," perhaps for the first time. Victoria's writing from the heart has nothing to do with talent, skill, DNA or anything else other than willingness to DO IT - and see what results you get.

Additional Information
Victoria is the author of over 12 published books, including co-author of the Best-Selling 2018 title Grandmother Legacies, and her solo-authored Red State, Blue Heart https://www.amazon.com/Red-State-Blue-Heart-Victoria/dp/1974032272
and 101 Healthy Meals in 5 Minutes or Less
https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Meals-Minutes-Less-Transformation/dp/1979815445/



So many Americans hate exercise and won't do it. Not MY clients! They have learned the spiritual path to genuinely (no gimmicks) loving to feel their bodies move, and loving how they feel with veggies. We never have trouble making time for the things we love to do, and the things we love to eat. No willpower needed for me to spend an hour creating things with crochet, or photographing distant planets and galaxies. I love it! 

You love things, too. And you don't have to use any willpower to get yourself to do these things, do you?

In this one hour class, I will start you on the road to LOVING your body, moving, and loving the taste of really good, healthy food. The spiritual path is unrelated to any religion or faith. Your spirit core is where your deepest desires live. Not the substitutes that you crave, because your life is too stressful and too filled with have-to, and not enough true joy. Not that. Your spirit core will lead you to the vision of yourself, and the decisions about your life that will transform your life - and your surface desires that now are driving your life in unhealthy directions.

You can love exercise as I've learned to love it - because it is a time of loving myself and my family, preparing to do my very best as a healer, and having fun. In a typical week, I joyfully splash and play in water, deep-end in wonderfully creative dreams of crochet and acrylic artwork, and touch the deepest core of my soul. It's a wonderful life! 

No matter how many hats you are currently juggling and how many years it's been since you had anything other than popcorn and TV for yourself, if you take this class, you will be setting forth on the Hero's Journey to Health.

After the class, you'll have the option of discounts on the entire transformation program. www.soaringdragon.biz




Have you been trying to stop your self-sabotage and generate more confidence for your life, your business or your family? Not working, huh? STOP beating yourself up! You are using the wrong tools, that's all.

In this workshop, you will connect with your inner goddess energy (not associated with any religion or faith!), and watch the real barriers to your successful completion of your goals start to crumble before your eyes. Take effective action against the barriers that are holding you back.

Enrollment is limited for the highest-quality experience.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Biz Advice for a Smashing Fall - and Prepping Now for a Truly Stress-Free Holiday Season


The first quarter of the year is the strongest selling period in most consulting businesses – organizations have budget and consumers are on fire with the New Year energy! – but the two months of Fall are a close second.  The crisp, clear air, after the heat, humidity and lethargy of summer, and the return of the school year, puts a sense of urgency into people’s lives.  They are ready to invest in themselves and they are ready to pour the financial foundation for the new year of business.  It’s an important time to pour on the effort for marketing, releasing new products (especially those that could be purchased or gifted for the holidays), and unleashing your creativity for cooking up the cool beans for the new year.

In addition to your ongoing marketing and product development, it’s not too soon to start having conversations with your spouse and family about setting new dreams in place for what the holidays mean.  If you start now to think of ways to tell people that you love them, without spending money, you will have that money to invest in your business, in your continuing education and in your children’s future.  I tell my loved ones, in detailed letters, exactly why I adore them, citing specific examples.  I bake and crochet up a storm.  Kids get one gift each, sometimes bought and always educational. 

Every year, I make a list of fun, new, magical things I want to ENJOY.  I sip eggnog and decorate enough to feel festive, but not enough to be a significant time drain.  I drive or walk to admire other people’s light displays.  I love, love, love November and December.  How lovely, how magical, how full of love and good cheer.  And no stress.  In my early November issue, I’ll include some tips for your business and your stress-free life.  For now, start thinking about what is truly joyful and what could potentially be eliminated from your Shop and To-Do lists.  You don’t need to do everything this year.  The Grand Canyon was carved over time by the relentless flow of water, and it may take a few years of relentless chipping away to transform The Stress and Broke Season into the season of love and joy – but you can do it.
 

And you deserve it.

Come explore the power and excitement of entrepreneurship in a series of classes.... www.soaringdragon.biz.

Monday, July 24, 2017

Mindfulness, Meditation and Creativity - FREE Videos


My Fall class Mindfulness, Meditation and Creativity features a lot of resources for generating lower blood pressure and stress chemicals that strip YEARS from our lives.  The content has to wait for the launch in September, but here are some previews.....

Seeking beta testers for all the new Fall classes....

Friday, July 21, 2017

Inspiration and Meditations from Yellowstone

Some of these will be folded into my new Fall releases of online classes, so if you want to be a beta-tester (some of the classes are free, but some are not, so you can save some money by seeing the early versions!  Just email me at victoria@soaringdragon.biz).

Enjoy!  [Want a continuing connection to high-quality inspiration and meditations?  Join my Soaring Dragon tribe by subscribing to monthly updates.]



Y-stone series: 
Road out of Overwhelm: Trees  : https://youtu.be/k60K9K08kzcRoad out of Overwhelm:  Norris   https://youtu.be/EUVLzw91BSE

Inspiration: Beauty All Around  https://youtu.be/S2cf38HaPEUInspiration: Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone, the power of water   https://youtu.be/bdtKUZu2-4E
Inspiration: Lehardy Rapids  https://youtu.be/sajc85OoamI

Inspiration: Power of Unity    https://youtu.be/bGenGcDOawE
Inspiration: Power of water  https://youtu.be/rws8N9rjFFgInspiration for Entrepreneurs:  What is Negative?  https://youtu.be/v_jJCNZ5d5w

How to Tame Anxiety    https://youtu.be/7pBstbOppQw

Listen to your Deep Unconscious   https://youtu.be/cGBA2JOPTvU
5 Breaths in Y-stone   https://youtu.be/DP5OFNo36E0

Why Soaring Dragon?         https://youtu.be/jcqBw2GqSKI

Saturday, June 17, 2017

How to Sell is A Variation on How To Get Anyone to Do AnyThing - A new approach for volunteer orgs as well as entrepreneurs

In entrepreneurship:
By now, you probably know that no one is going to purchase your high-value package or product “cold.”  People need to know, like and trust you.  You need to prove that you can do what they need, with strong social proof. 

Smart consultants like Ian Brodie (ianbrodie.com) and Meredith Eisenberg (mereditheisenberg.com & Time Traders) will tell you that you MUST begin your relationship with a prospective client by providing them with lots of real value.

Create a sales funnel by all means, just understand that people will be in various stages along the road, and make sure that you don’t give up on the people who just aren’t ready for your high-cost products yet.  Have something that they can use, now, and give them some easy, inexpensive entry ramp to the concept of spending money with you.

So you need to choose the enticement or gift that your prospects care about.  It's not just where they are at on the sales cycle, but the kind of Language that they prefer to hear most of the time.


In volunteer organizations, religious groups, other social situations where you want to encourage people to do something:

                You guessed it.  It’s the same situation, in different clothing.  You want the volunteers to want to volunteer more but they keep dropping out to attend to other needs or to join a different group.  The “reasons” are legion but they all come down to one thing: you haven’t convinced them to buy what you’re selling.  When YOU aren’t as committed to a group, you can be sure that they are not giving you what you need. 

                So how do you entice or reward your prospects or the other group you are trying to influence?  Don’t laugh: I have found great value in the Languages of Love concept.  Two decades ago, Gary Chapman outlined a framework to help people improve marriages, by getting people to understand what their partner really values.  I’ve been using this idea in business and social groups for about that long.  Chapman’s basic idea is that we humans tend to value 5 types of interactions, and some are more important to each of us than others.  They are Words of Appreciation; Physical Touch; Quality Time; Thoughtfully-Chosen Gifts; Acts of Service (doing something tangible to help me).
 
                Some people really just want to               be thanked, sincerely and regularly.  Other people want dedicated one-on-one time to discuss their concerns and be the center of your attention, regularly.  Other folks love the tangible swag.  And people like me love the people who use the sentence “Let me help you with that” regularly.  Acts of Service people value tangible help with problems and chores.

                This is how many volunteer-run groups run into trouble.  People will say that they have a lot of chores or they have to spend time with their kids, but the reality is that if the volunteering was something that they loved, they would do it with their kids and if they felt cherished and you were taking tasks off their list, they would take tasks off yours.  If people aren’t buying, it’s because what you’re offering is not what they need right now.  Cycle the offers to cover all the bases and Languages, or (if you’re clever) have people at different stages of the buy getting different offers. 

I remember spending years volunteer-teaching with a local organization.  The students were wonderful, engaged, funny, energizing people, and only a few other instructors taught as many classes – volunteered as many hours – as I did.  They appreciation events (Words of Appreciation) in which my name was honored, and they had food and appreciation events (maybe qualifies as Gifts), and the director was an incredible soul who gave you Quality Time when you needed it.  But an Acts of Service person like me never got what she really needed, which is an occasional exemption from the You Gotta Do This, You Can’t Do That that add stress, aggravation and problems to my day.  THAT is the only Language that means anything to me.  I don’t want to be thanked.  I don’t want pizza.  I want 10 less minutes of (to me, unnecessary) hassle.  I never got it.  When I found the same wonderful students in a less-inflexible world, I bailed.  Less dictation = Acts of Service.

When I was the Volunteer Director for a county government, I thanked the volunteers regularly (via email and events), I handed out high-quality swag (coffee-table books and bags were the hot “sellers”), I gave people my undivided attention when they needed it and I actively looked for ways to make life easier for them.  Most of the Languages were covered.

[Let’s dispose of the problematical one now.  The people who like Physical Touch, if they are appropriate, are the ones buffeting your shoulder, touching your arm when they want to emphasize a point or hugging you.  To deflect unwanted Touch, just say “Don’t hug me” or take the person aside and lay out a clear, courteous boundary, like “I’m uncomfortable when you .  Please respect my boundaries and don’t do that again.  I know you didn’t mean any harm, so I am sure that all will be well from now on.”  This is the one language that, because of the possibility of abuse, you might need to accept not being addressed.]

Applying this idea to my volunteers and to prospects is really helping me.  Hope it helps you too!



Visit me and my cool free stuff at www.soaringdragon.biz.  Links to free classes, You Tube, Learnitlive and more.....   You deserve to soar with dragons!

Monday, April 24, 2017

Key Components of HR Wellness and Motivation Programs: It's Not What You Think!

I was talking to a health and benefits manager about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. She is reading articles that tell her that only intrinsic motivations matter. But I know so much research that validates my instant-salivation when someone says $100 Amazon Gift-Card. So here's my take, in written form:
Extrinsic motivation is motivation that is focused outward, to the environment that the person is in. For example, you give people a $100 gift card or a reduction in their health insurance premiums if they get screened by their doctor and then talk with a health coach at least once a month, to focus on reducing weight, blood pressure or emotional stress in their lives - all factors that are known to lead to expensive illnesses. The person is taking action because you are dangling money (an external factor) or you are threatening them with a negative outcome (higher premiums).
Intrinsic motivation is motivation (desire) that stems from inside the person. The group increases the customer satisfaction by decreasing the fail rate of a product, and they do that because they are given more autonomy in their work and they are on fire to do a good job, because a good job reflects on their vision of themselves. They want to see themselves as Quality Performers, so they are internally-powered to think of new ideas and put them into practice. They take ownership of the result because they truly, deeply care (are motivated).
However, human beings are complex, and simple definitions don't model human beings very well. Most people take action or stop taking action, or shift their internal beliefs, because of both intrinsic and extrinsic factors. The most successful Human Resources changes include both intrinsic and extrinsic components. In the intrinsic example above, the professionals started to take more ownership of the final result (shifted to more intrinsic motivation) when they were given more power and autonomy to make changes; if the company just talks, or brings in a "motivational speaker," the results will not last, because deep desire isn't engaged by just talk.
One interesting result is that positive external incentives work more effectively than negative incentives. From a psychology perspective, consider that if you want people to change deeply ingrained habits, are they more likely to do so if they are cheerfully walking toward a reward, or are angry and resentful (you are increasing their premiums unless they comply)?
In the example of improving health outcomes, the best results seem to include both extrinsic factors (the positive financial incentives) and the addition of intrinsic motivation. The health coaches provide encouragement and inspiration, and the best coaches will stress the outcome of the changes: that the employee will be more likely to stay healthy for their children if they maintain a healthy weight and blood pressure. A strong desire to do the best for one's children is a common intrinsic motivation to get healthier.
Understanding that people are complex, that intrinsic and extrinsic motivations work best when both are active, and that carrots (positives) work better than sticks (negatives) can help guide a company to their true end goal - greater profits through more educated and trained, happier and more engaged workers.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

For Entrepreneurs: More Income + Life Satisfaction from Strategic Self-Care

Hey, I'M super-busy.  I barely stop on a daily basis.  

Except that I know that stopping for strategic self-care IS my road to income and to life satisfaction, which is why I started the business in the first place, right?


You don't need hours.  With 5 carefully chosen minutes a day - 5 MINUTES daily - you can have a tremendous impact on your income and your overall happiness.

I've researched and chosen the 5 elements with the most powerful and reliable ROI (return on investment) for your time.  Focus on them, make a commitment to every day - and watch your life blossom like all the spring flowers all around us.


https://blastthruthosebarriers.thinkific.com/courses/strategic-self-care-for-entrepreneurs-the-5-daily-tools-proven-to-lead-to-lots-more-income-and-life-satisfaction

Friday, March 24, 2017

FREE Resource: Meditation Videos

Are you feeling tired, stressed, frustrated?  Of course ypu are, from time to time or most of the time, depending on your circumstances.  If you're thinking I'm going to ask you to sit quietly and "think about nothing" as one of my clients put it - nah.  [My new book 101 Stress Busters has lots of walking meditation and active visualizing meditation, along with 86 really fun and very powerful creative arts that will induce relaxation among other important medical changes.]  

Slowing the adrenal cascade improves your blood pressure which protects your sexual health, as well as protecting you from deadly strokes and kidney failure.  It also protects your brain from loss of memory and general dopiness - powerful medicine for everyone from full-time parents to small business owners and entrepreneurs.  

If you're an entrepreneur, it WILL boost your income - giving you great new marketing ideas, boosting your energy to work, and wiping out the worries that sap your productivity. 

How about taking 45 seconds to a minute and a half to contemplate a really beautiful natural scene while you take 5 slow, deep breaths?  Here are some examples:

https://youtu.be/Bdz_UmDXFvs     for entrepreneurs
https://youtu.be/T7KSbv8cXag     end of day, gratitude
https://youtu.be/hLbwlDiYduY     walk in the woods



Join my mailing list for inspiration, to get first crack at free beta test enrollment of my new online classes, and special offers just for subscribers.  email victoria@soaringdragon.biz

www.soaringdragon.biz

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Preventing Dementia and Cognitive Decline, Part 1 More Sleep


The key to getting more sleep is to carefully train your brain to the 8 hours that you need.  If you are currently getting 5 or 6 – or less – then you need to plan your evening so that you are asleep 15 minutes earlier than usual. 

Think of your evening as your prep for a big presentation before a live audience.  You hone your speech.  You prepare notes on cards or pages.  You check the lighting and the sound.  You breathe deeply to reduce nervousness.  You hit the loo 10 minutes before show time.  Well, it’s the same thing with sleeping.  You need to prepare. 

1)      Make sure that you get at least 20 minutes of exercise/movement every day.  It helps “tune” your body to better health on all levels of metabolism and circadian rhythm, as it improves your brain, and especially memory, function.

2)      Make sure that you aren’t eating a heavy dinner less than 3 hours before bedtime.  When I worked in a corporate job, and stayed late at my desk, I had dinner in the office fridge, then came home and had a 100 calorie snack before bed.  That snack stabilized my blood sugar for sleep.  I still do the 100 calorie snack.

3)       Stop thinking about business, politics, doing Facebook, or anything else serious or potentially upsetting (no email!) for at least an hour before bed.
4)      Two hours before sleep time, use Dump the Garbage or a similar tool from Take Back Your Lost Heart or 101 Stress Busters.

5)      Sometime in the evening, HAVE FUN, something that engrosses you and genuinely brings joy – which passively watching TV doesn’t, usually.  101 Stress Busters has lots of ideas. 

6)      If you feel resistance to sleep time rather than joy, take a deep breath or five, and see if you can hear the “I don’t want to go to bed and you can’t make me!” voice.  The more it sounds like a 3-year old, the closer you are to Reality.  This is the part of you that will keep you awake until it gets some fun – and no amount of substitutes (alcohol, sweets, TV, you name it) will really satisfy.

7)      Develop an unvarying Go To Bed routine.  Unvarying is important.  You want your brain to get programmed to wind down as you go through the routine.  I cover this in the Kick Weight Loss to the Curb class and will cover it in my newsletter.

8)      If you have a spouse or partner who snores, insists on watching TV in bed (a VERY bad idea, because it associates the bed with TV, not sleeping, to his/her brain) or in any other way disrupts your sleep, sleep somewhere else.  If they want to sleep with you, then they have to SLEEP in the bedroom and do other things elsewhere.  For the last 3 years, hubby has had to get up at 3:30AM and of course, goes to bed much earlier than I.  So we have slept apart on commute days and together on non-commute days.  If your partner doesn’t love you enough to put your needs ahead of their desires, then you do what you need to do to take care of your health and safeguard your mental acuity. 

9)      If you find your sleep disrupted by trips to the bathroom, stop drinking in the evening.  I can’t drink anything after 4PM myself.  I gathered data for 6 months before I came to the latest I could absorb fluids before I had night-waking troubles.  For most people it’s 3 hours, not 6, so see what it is for your body.

Our bodies change and shift over time, usually gradually – elders have more trouble staying asleep because brains get poorer at releasing enough melatonin, and the over-55 set gets less exercise, for example.  If it’s relatively sudden, first check any changes in medications; have you started or stopped anything?  Then think: are you eating differently or taking/stopping a new supplement?  

Check with your doc or pharmacist (the latter are easier to get time with), to see if there is a known sleep disruption associated with the chemicals involved.  Supplements are less safe than prescribed drugs in the sense that there is no quality or purity control imposed by a government agency focused on our safety, but assuming the pills really are what the label says, the pharmacist can tell you what is known about effects of the supplement.  

And then there are hormones of menopause and perimenopause (starting anytime after age 43, on average), which are known to wreck sleep for a while.  Absent any of these known reasons, sudden sleep changes warrant a medical visit.










Kick Dieting to the Curb: Get and Stay at Your Healthy Weight – Forever!

Thursday, January 26, 2017

6 Key Principles for SUCCESSFUL, Permanent Health Changes

If you want to make changes in your life - and who doesn't, in January? - keep some principles in mind:

**  Choose small, reasonable goals that you

** Commit to - with your whole body and sou.

** Have a deep and compelling reason, and keep that reason at the front of your mind.

** Have a Commitment Buddy, and choose that one carefully.  Use your journal as your commitment buddy if the perfect person isn't available.  Check in every day for the first 21 days.

** Embrace deep surgery to replace internal resistance,through hypnotherapy.

And #6:  Take a no-nonsense, aggressive stance on eliminating the health impact of stress.  This will give you better sleep, weight loss, less internal resistance and higher income, especially in the small business world.  If you want more money, you want more sleep and you want de-stressing.  Full stop, no excuses.  You aren't more important because you are busy,busy.  It's not a badge of honor.  It's a badge of Dumb Choice.  Make a different one - with my help.

Here is the expanded video version.   www.soaringdragon.biz


Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Holding on My Passionately-Felt Goals - Lightly. And a creative brainstorm for business lights gently on my shoulders

Over the past 24 hours, a foot of snow has fallen. There were three waves and I cleared the car and the driveway each time. But the last wave went on heavily for 12 hours at the end of which, I am snowed in. Too much snow for little me and my hand-shovel to clear for a car, down my healing center's long, long driveway. And the street was scraped clear of topsnow, leaving only the ice layer. Not a smart idea to traverse with an ordinary vehicle with normal winter traction, unstudded tires. And the next two nights will be 12 degrees.

In the past, I would have fumed. This time, I cancelled everything, knocked snow off as much of the trees as I could reach, solemnly vowed to buy a 2nd pair of snow boots as soon as the weather clears (my Alaska-capable pair are at a relative's home in another state; it happens), and I am taking the day off from everything but wonder. Photographs. Videos. Painting, drawing and coloring.

Today will be a renewal day, and a creation day. An idea for a new online class came to me as I knocked and shoveled. Just like I tell you - it works. Exercise and wonder, appreciation and exhilarated motion yields divine rewards for my body, my heart - and my business!

All I had to do was stop saying "Dammit" and start saying "Thank you."


See my weight loss classes....
https://www.learnitlive.com/class/9879/Goddess-Connection-to-Drive-Weight-Loss-6-Weeks-to-Happy-and-Healthy










Friday, December 23, 2016

The Book-Creation Hacks Are Life Happiness Hacks, too

Creativity is a powerful guide to transformational change.  I’ve been writing for publication since way before the Berlin Wall fell, before Bill Clinton was elected President, even, and I blush to confess, the thrill never goes away.  My latest baby is just as much of a thrill as the second; 101 Stress-Busters for Energy, Joy and Healthy Longevity will hit Amazon and everywhere outside of Ashland, Oregon [we’ve got it already], at the end of January. Nothing is ever as soul-stirringly wonderful as seeing your name in big letters ON THE COVER OF A BOOK for the first time.  When the Library of Congress asked for a copy, I drove to D.C. so I could see how many Representatives and Senators had checked it out.  Answer: 12. Oh. My. God.

Lying collapsed in my usual post-creation heap, it occurred to me that the Best Practices for writing a quality book is strikingly similar to Best Practices for living your quality life. 

1.       Know what the end goal is: what outcome do you want for your readers; what outcome do you want for yourself, either on a business or personal level?  Keep these answers on a card or a sheet of paper whenever you sit down to work on your project.

Keeping an eye on the prize, a reminder of the ultimate goal, helps keep you from being swayed by the emotion of the moment, or someone who has “hooked” an unresolved childhood issue that you are not consciously aware of (needing attention; needing to show you’re best; needing to be appreciated; needing to have more income that anyone else in your social orbit, etc.).

2.       Have a project plan with checkpoints.  Have a chapter by chapter plan.

You know in your business life that checkpoints are vital to spurring effective action. They give you a clear idea of where the project is on the road to completion.  They give you accountability.  Don’t over-plan to avoid having to actually write, but do make sure that you have a step-by-step plan with specific checkpoints. 

In books, it’s a chapter or a page.  In other aspects of your life, what are the checkpoints?  When I bought my fixer-upper, I started with a list of serious problems.  I started checking them off and then I made a list of the remodels that I would need to have the floorplan work for a healing center, a family home and a separate pet area.  Not everything was clear from the start.  The amount of money and renovation I would need to turn the garage into the Hobby House, heated and cooled with moderate amounts of $$, was not clear to me when I started.  In fairness, I could have anticipated more of it, but the first two lists were so overwhelming, I very sensibly put the garage into the Much, Much Later category and didn’t give it another thought for two years. 

3.       Have a reward that you really want for completing every checkpoint, with extra rewards for completing on time.

You know this works.  You do it with your customers – reward the behavior you want.  Well, darling, your human brain works just like theirs.  So get those rewards prepared.  Want to lose weight?  Virtue ain’t its own reward, not in the first 30 days.  Have non-food rewards.  I, for example, will do nearly anything for a $100 Amazon gift card that I can use to bankroll my video habit.  I also salivate over, and will finish a chapter for or eat kale for, smaller rewards.  We all have things we want.  Don’t let yourself have them until you hit a checkpoint and see how your foot-dragging around clearing out the garage disappears. 

4.       You’re not writing a book; that’s a terrifying concept.  You are writing one chapter.  When you’re really tired and want to quit, but you’ve made the choice to push on to some checkpoint, then you are just writing this one page.  Just one page.  You can do that. 

You’re not losing 35 pounds.  You are cataloging all your calories for today, and doing a 10 minute intensive cardio routine on the DVD from the library.  Do both of those things and you can have a lavender tub soak (or Grantchester episode) tonight.  Do it for a week and you can go to a Sounders game.  Small steps get you to the finish line; grandiose plans flop in 6 weeks.

5.       If you get a brainstorm, something that really takes control of your brain and makes you want to shout “Yes! Yes! Yes!” to the uncaring walls or silent moon, write your brainstorm down in as much detail as you can, then take a deep breath and look at item #1.  Does this storm make the end goal or outcome work better?  Or does this storm point to a different outcome?  Take another 5 deep breaths [yes, it’s Tool #2-1 from my book; keep reading].  Perhaps meditate or do a card reading or ask Sarasvati or another incarnation of the great I AM for advice.  Do you really want this new outcome more than the old outcome?

I had an original chapter plan and I had a different title, because I had a different end goal.  Then I had a brainstorm that took my breath away and the book is entirely different.  When you are tempted away from a life goal, the same procedure keeps you on the best path for you.  Instead of following blindly when your limbic system gets hijacked by someone who touches an unhealed childhood wound or an unexamined childhood dream, you stop, get your pre-frontal cortex (your thinking, logical, clear-sighted brain) to give you a 2nd opinion and let the two opinions become reconciled into a clear-headed decision, something that you will be proud to own for the rest of your life.  If everyone did this, the marketplace would be a very different place because most sales ploys rely on manipulating and amplifying the “I’m not good enough” beliefs hidden deep inside us.  If we had our PFC’s integrated with every limbic system business decision, we sellers couldn’t hid our lack of steak behind a smokescreen of sizzle.

Some of my changed life goals over the years have included dumping losing business ventures instead of “refusing to quit,” an emotional stance that caused several entrepreneurs that I know to lose house as well as business in the dot-com crash and then more in the Great Recession.  “I’m Not A Quitter” is a limbic system response, based on “quitter” shaming from childhood or adulthood, and not a clear-headed choice based on receivables, cash flow and the local and national economy. 

Every once in a while, I really, really want to do something, and no matter how hard I try, with all the skills of a transformation coach and healer, I cannot fathom why.  If it’s not dangerous to me, emotionally, physically or in any other way I can see, and it isn’t taking my life on a new and destructive path, I let myself do it.  I let myself say “Yes, I’m a spiritual healer,” when I didn’t consider myself one, just because someone I really respected asked me to – and stepped into a completely new income stream, and an additional self-definition.  It’s also why I climbed a mountain and then jumped – with the guy who actually knew how to fly the dang thing.  I knew the physical laws that allow lift and I had my will updated before the honeymoon trip, so there I was, for a millisecond, falling straight downward off a mountain.  And then lift kicked in and away we soared, high above Queenstown, New Zealand, soaring with dragons as I had always dreamed. 

6.       Self-care every day, no matter the deadlines, is your lifeline.  If you don’t eat healthy, exercise and take time to rest and recuperate, you will NOT create a quality product.  I know, Handel wrote the Messiah in six weeks, but let’s be real: He was a genius, he had been thinking about something like it for months, and he had a servant to make him healthy meals and remind him to take his daily constitutional.  This is the Magic Formula for a healthy life, too.


Let me connect you to a world of solutions.  While you’re waiting to buy your copy of 101 Stress Busters, take action to make 2017 the year when you knock some of your pain-points out of your life forever!  A free Getting Unstuck session (not a sales pitch, a real session) will give you tools that you can use to knock at least one of those “pains” out of the park – forever.   Do you like to Do It Yourself?  My blog and free classes are the place to start.  Are you ready for your major Pain Points to – poof! – be gone?  Sign up for a Getting Unstuck session (free, not a sales pitch), and watch one of them disappear.  Then sign up for a comprehensive program and ditch the big ones, too.  Do you like to learn from classes?  Comprehensive beta classes will be launching in January.  Sign up to be a beta-tester.  At www.soaringdragon.biz, it’s all about solutions, not hype!  You deserve more than quick-fixes that won’t last. Link to me and let me connect you to a world where problems get solved - forever!    

Saturday, October 15, 2016

The Most Wonderful Mistake of My Life...

I’m going to say a word and I want you to respond with the first words that come to mind.  Ready?

Ready…  set… MISTAKE
Now, if your mistake is a real ethical failure on your part – you betrayed your spouse’s trust, you cheated or lied in some other way – do the Ready…. Set again.  This article is for the merely boneheaded, not  for times when you betrayed your own soul.  [Forgiving the Unforgiveable by Flannigan is the way to go on this serious stuff.]

Did you immediately think about a mistake from your past?  Of course you did.  Know that If you remember it as a mistake, you haven’t forgiven yourself for it.  If it popped into your mind, it has been, in its own teensy or not-so-teensy little way, dragging you away from having compassion for yourself. 

I’ve been working on the self-compassion issue with clients this year, as I see it as the cornerstone of most of the rest of what I do.  For all the “Oh, I wish I had taken the other road” times of life, you end up with better choices in future if we do the deep work with me that gets you to wrap yourself in compassionate forgiveness and move on.

I’ve just been pole-axed by a blinding “aha!” that I have to share.  I KNOW you all that at least one of these “mistakes” from the past.

So come with me on a journey.  I’m teaching a class and answering a question about some subject-specific vocabulary – and I realize that I am explaining the Latin roots of the word, which entirely explains its function.  Everyone is amazingly impressed.  And the staggering reality hits me:  I have been a whiz at science terminology, including human anatomy [taught it at the college level for years], and a whiz at English vocabulary AND IT’S ALL BECAUSE I STUDIED LATIN IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Latin??  Yup.  Latin. 

No, I wasn’t at seminary. 
I dug in my heels and refused to listen to guidance counselors or any other adult who tried to tell me that I needed at least 3 years of a foreign language to get into college.  [Turns out they were right as far as that goes.  My two years of German got me the snooty-disdain treatment from some colleges.]

What in hades was going on with me?  Just me picking an unusual form of adolescent rebellion?

Not really.  What I did was fall in love with a guy who had died nearly two millennia earlier.  That’s right.  I was crazy-mad in love with Hannibal of Carthage and all things Punic.  In addition to book after book on Carthaginian culture and the 2nd Punic War, I also insisted on learning ancient Punic and Latin.  I couldn’t find any Punic classes anywhere but graduate schools, which weren’t available to a 15 year old, however nerdy, but my school did have a classics track with Latin language.  So there I labored for two years, slogging through the Gallic mud with Gaius Julius and his castra ponere and castra movere.  [Caesar was constantly pitching camp and then moving camp and leaving two cohorts behind to guard the impedimenta, the baggage train.]  I would have committed total academic suicide and taken a 3rd year of Latin but instead of military Latin they switched to Ovid’s love poems.  Yuk.  So I trundled off to German, and my self-study Russian.

Of course I consciously knew, through all the decades of my life since high school, that the Latin study had made so much of English and science much, much easier for me than it was for my cohort, but it wasn’t until today that I understood down to my elemental DNA that Latin had been a very good choice, a valuable choice and NOT A MISTAKE AT ALL.  Really, truly, madly, it wasn’t a mistake.  It smoothed my path to my eventual career.   It enriched my class this week. 

It was such a small thing, but watching that judgment dissolve away to nothingness, to be replaced by shining sunlight, reminds me yet again that even the most positive of us, even someone like me who is dedicated to blasting through others’ barriers and bringing them more productivity, more happiness, more of whatever matters most to them, is carrying a Marley’s chain of regrets. 

Today I let one of them go, with a laugh.  God bless Latin.  And bless all of your mistakes that you have not yet realized were not so bad after all, and all of your non-mistakes that have smoothed your way through life in ways you’ve never realized or acknowledged.  Pour gentle compassion on them, hug the younger you that made those choices. 

And I still love Hannibal and all things Punic…..


..........
Want to clear away the boulders that are standing in the way of your goals?  When Hannibal’s army was stopped on an Alpine pass by a big boulder, he had his men build a large bonfire and when the stone was very hot, they poured vinegar on it.  The stone cracked into smaller pieces that could be moved, and the elephants, horses and soldiers could get back on their way to destiny.  I can blast away your boulders, too!  Sign up for a FREE Getting Unstuck session to get your transformation started. Victoria@soaringdragon.biz.   www.soaringdragon.biz


Friday, September 30, 2016

I can make your day 15 minutes longer - or more! Don't believe me? Read on.....

I'm a big fan of yoga (fun), walking with my dog (see photo) and yard work (not so much, but it gets me sweating).  



But who doesn't dream of making time for all that lovely exercise that our bodies crave, by lengthening the day?  Oh, please, please, please, great spirits of the astronomical, can't you slow down the Earth's rotation and give us a longer day?  

Not possible, thank goodness, or we'd all die for celestial mechanical reasons I'd be glad to bore you with [just ask], but isn't it a great fantasy??

Fortunately, we don't have to.  We don't really need more time, and in our saner moments we do know that.  What we need to clearer priorities and the strength to stick to them.  Kids and spouses can do more, if we are willing to draw on our ancestral courage and make that shift happen, and not be distracted by the hooting and hollering and "I hate you"s.  Many things just don't need to happen at all, which means courage again to face up to peers, family and the parental voices in our heads.  Courage is more valuable to your life than diamonds, or hours more in the day, and you know that, too, at the wise core of your soul, down below all the noise and rumpus of emotions and fears.

Priorities....

I like to try out new exercise options and so I picked up the Women's Health Big Book of 15 Minute Workouts.  Some of them are strictly for the 20-something crowd, but many of them look interesting, done straight or modified for my aged and decrepit body.  Before the workouts, the book features a list of time-wasters that you could eliminate, to get more time for your workouts - and for Reiki, meditation, tapping, art and the rest of the stress-elimination protocols I teach my clients.  

Here are my favorites:
* Turn off Facebook.  Set a timer, give yourself 10 minutes a day and then TURN IT OFF.

*  Say NO to what is not on your priority list.  If everything is critical, then your decision-making is seriously askew (a stress symptom), or you need additional help from your probably-not helpless family members.


*  Do one thing at a time.  Scientific studies have proven over and over again that you can rapidly-switch your attention from one thing to another if we are talking about mindless chores - laundry or vacuuming, or with my cooking style, cooking - but if you are doing something substantive, give it your undivided attention!  You actually spend less total time if you do something with all your attention and then move on to the next thing.  If you don't believe it, test it out - fairly - and see what happens, for three days minimum. 

*  Make cleanliness and order a priority, so you don't waste time trying to find things.  Put things in the same place all the time.  Put up a key hook and always put the keys there.  Put your glasses in the same place.  Keep your office or bill-paying area organized.  Do your bookkeeping and filing every month.  Clean the house once/month.

I have my fridge organized, and used to go ballistic if hubby puts things on the wrong shelf. Then I decided to do a test.  He did his usual higgledy-piggledy and got 3 seconds to glance in the fridge and list what was there.  I got an organized fridge and the same 3 seconds.  Then we switched.  He saw that HE was faster with an organized fridge too.  His cooking improved because he could tell at a glance what raw materials he had available. That's why he puts food on the right shelf just like I do.  Right, honey?  Honey?  


But don't be a neatnik.  Understand that too much cleanliness is like too much dieting - a desperate attempt to control SOMEthing.  Channel those urges into art or journaling.  Take one of my classes and get super-good at identifying your real needs before you start vacuuming under the bed.  [I put my beds directly on the floor.  Nothing to vacuum, whoopie!]

* Spend less time on cheap, unimportant purchases and decisions.  Some people are naturally decisive (Myers-Briggs J types).  My first husband and I went to purchase a new washer one day.  I scanned all the options, narrowed it down to two, then one, slapped my hand down and summoned a sales rep with a "This one."  While hubby was still thinking about the first model he came across.  I had a clear idea of my criteria before we got there, then I laser-focused on the criteria list, and done.  12.5 minutes, according to former hubby.  And that included the time spent asking "Where are the washers?"  Myers-Briggs P types need to consider this tip.  Some decisions are important enough to deserve protracted decision-making.  Darling hubby #2 and I spent two years meticulously researching and finding our ideal future retirement location.  For a P, making a commitment to one course of action, and leaving all the rest behind, is less than comfortable.  Practice zipping through unimportant decisions.  Become the cheetah, who focuses exclusively on the impalas, then one impala in particular, with laser intensity.  Enjoy the sunset some other time.

*  Put it in your calendar.  This is a gotta-have for anyone who wants to accomplish anything.  Your priorities are in your calendar.  If they aren't there, they don't really matter to you - whatever you say. 

*  Use that timer for other black holes, those astronomical phenomena that suck in every bit of matter and energy that comes close to them.  You know what you waste time on.  Use that time to rest!  Or exercise, which gives you more energy and burns up the cortisol that makes you feel tired.

*  Set out your exercise clothes, or always keep them in the same place, near the front door.  You set out your next-day clothes before you go to sleep, right?  I actually have two set of clothes - the stuff I'm going to sweat in and the stuff I am going to meet clients in.  No decisions to make the next day, just jump into one and then the other.  Or keep them in the dining room, like one of my clients does, because she works at home and seeing them during breakfast reminds her of her commitment to her health, her family, her income and everything else that first and foremost depends on her health.

Doesn't that all sound eminently logical?? Sure it does.  Now pick ONE item on that list and do it every day, every single day, for a week.  Then add another one.....

Contact Victoria Leo for a FREE Getting Unstuck session at victoria@soaringdragon.biz, or visit www.soaringdragon.biz.