The Book-Creation Hacks Are Life Happiness Hacks, too

Creativity is a powerful guide to transformational change.  I’ve been writing for publication since way before the Berlin Wall fell, before Bill Clinton was elected President, even, and I blush to confess, the thrill never goes away.  My latest baby is just as much of a thrill as the second; 101 Stress-Busters for Energy, Joy and Healthy Longevity will hit Amazon and everywhere outside of Ashland, Oregon [we’ve got it already], at the end of January. Nothing is ever as soul-stirringly wonderful as seeing your name in big letters ON THE COVER OF A BOOK for the first time.  When the Library of Congress asked for a copy, I drove to D.C. so I could see how many Representatives and Senators had checked it out.  Answer: 12. Oh. My. God.

Lying collapsed in my usual post-creation heap, it occurred to me that the Best Practices for writing a quality book is strikingly similar to Best Practices for living your quality life. 

1.       Know what the end goal is: what outcome do you want for your readers; what outcome do you want for yourself, either on a business or personal level?  Keep these answers on a card or a sheet of paper whenever you sit down to work on your project.

Keeping an eye on the prize, a reminder of the ultimate goal, helps keep you from being swayed by the emotion of the moment, or someone who has “hooked” an unresolved childhood issue that you are not consciously aware of (needing attention; needing to show you’re best; needing to be appreciated; needing to have more income that anyone else in your social orbit, etc.).

2.       Have a project plan with checkpoints.  Have a chapter by chapter plan.

You know in your business life that checkpoints are vital to spurring effective action. They give you a clear idea of where the project is on the road to completion.  They give you accountability.  Don’t over-plan to avoid having to actually write, but do make sure that you have a step-by-step plan with specific checkpoints. 

In books, it’s a chapter or a page.  In other aspects of your life, what are the checkpoints?  When I bought my fixer-upper, I started with a list of serious problems.  I started checking them off and then I made a list of the remodels that I would need to have the floorplan work for a healing center, a family home and a separate pet area.  Not everything was clear from the start.  The amount of money and renovation I would need to turn the garage into the Hobby House, heated and cooled with moderate amounts of $$, was not clear to me when I started.  In fairness, I could have anticipated more of it, but the first two lists were so overwhelming, I very sensibly put the garage into the Much, Much Later category and didn’t give it another thought for two years. 

3.       Have a reward that you really want for completing every checkpoint, with extra rewards for completing on time.

You know this works.  You do it with your customers – reward the behavior you want.  Well, darling, your human brain works just like theirs.  So get those rewards prepared.  Want to lose weight?  Virtue ain’t its own reward, not in the first 30 days.  Have non-food rewards.  I, for example, will do nearly anything for a $100 Amazon gift card that I can use to bankroll my video habit.  I also salivate over, and will finish a chapter for or eat kale for, smaller rewards.  We all have things we want.  Don’t let yourself have them until you hit a checkpoint and see how your foot-dragging around clearing out the garage disappears. 

4.       You’re not writing a book; that’s a terrifying concept.  You are writing one chapter.  When you’re really tired and want to quit, but you’ve made the choice to push on to some checkpoint, then you are just writing this one page.  Just one page.  You can do that. 

You’re not losing 35 pounds.  You are cataloging all your calories for today, and doing a 10 minute intensive cardio routine on the DVD from the library.  Do both of those things and you can have a lavender tub soak (or Grantchester episode) tonight.  Do it for a week and you can go to a Sounders game.  Small steps get you to the finish line; grandiose plans flop in 6 weeks.

5.       If you get a brainstorm, something that really takes control of your brain and makes you want to shout “Yes! Yes! Yes!” to the uncaring walls or silent moon, write your brainstorm down in as much detail as you can, then take a deep breath and look at item #1.  Does this storm make the end goal or outcome work better?  Or does this storm point to a different outcome?  Take another 5 deep breaths [yes, it’s Tool #2-1 from my book; keep reading].  Perhaps meditate or do a card reading or ask Sarasvati or another incarnation of the great I AM for advice.  Do you really want this new outcome more than the old outcome?

I had an original chapter plan and I had a different title, because I had a different end goal.  Then I had a brainstorm that took my breath away and the book is entirely different.  When you are tempted away from a life goal, the same procedure keeps you on the best path for you.  Instead of following blindly when your limbic system gets hijacked by someone who touches an unhealed childhood wound or an unexamined childhood dream, you stop, get your pre-frontal cortex (your thinking, logical, clear-sighted brain) to give you a 2^nd opinion and let the two opinions become reconciled into a clear-headed decision, something that you will be proud to own for the rest of your life.  If everyone did this, the marketplace would be a very different place because most sales ploys rely on manipulating and amplifying the “I’m not good enough” beliefs hidden deep inside us.  If we had our PFC’s integrated with every limbic system business decision, we sellers couldn’t hid our lack of steak behind a smokescreen of sizzle.

Some of my changed life goals over the years have included dumping losing business ventures instead of “refusing to quit,” an emotional stance that caused several entrepreneurs that I know to lose house as well as business in the dot-com crash and then more in the Great Recession.  “I’m Not A Quitter” is a limbic system response, based on “quitter” shaming from childhood or adulthood, and not a clear-headed choice based on receivables, cash flow and the local and national economy. 

Every once in a while, I really, really want to do something, and no matter how hard I try, with all the skills of a transformation coach and healer, I cannot fathom why.  If it’s not dangerous to me, emotionally, physically or in any other way I can see, and it isn’t taking my life on a new and destructive path, I let myself do it.  I let myself say “Yes, I’m a spiritual healer,” when I didn’t consider myself one, just because someone I really respected asked me to – and stepped into a completely new income stream, and an additional self-definition.  It’s also why I climbed a mountain and then jumped – with the guy who actually knew how to fly the dang thing.  I knew the physical laws that allow lift and I had my will updated before the honeymoon trip, so there I was, for a millisecond, falling straight downward off a mountain.  And then lift kicked in and away we soared, high above Queenstown, New Zealand, soaring with dragons as I had always dreamed. 

6.       Self-care every day, no matter the deadlines, is your lifeline.  If you don’t eat healthy, exercise and take time to rest and recuperate, you will NOT create a quality product.  I know, Handel wrote the Messiah in six weeks, but let’s be real: He was a genius, he had been thinking about something like it for months, and he had a servant to make him healthy meals and remind him to take his daily constitutional.  This is the Magic Formula for a healthy life, too.

Let me connect you to a world of solutions.  While you’re waiting to buy your copy of 101 Stress Busters, take action to make 2017 the year when you knock some of your pain-points out of your life forever!  A free Getting Unstuck session (not a sales pitch, a real session) will give you tools that you can use to knock at least one of those “pains” out of the park – forever.   Do you like to Do It Yourself?  My blog and free classes are the place to start.  Are you ready for your major Pain Points to – poof! – be gone?  Sign up for a Getting Unstuck session (free, not a sales pitch), and watch one of them disappear.  Then sign up for a comprehensive program and ditch the big ones, too.  Do you like to learn from classes?  Comprehensive beta classes will be launching in January.  Sign up to be a beta-tester.  At www.soaringdragon.biz, it’s all about solutions, not hype!  You deserve more than quick-fixes that won’t last. Link to me and let me connect you to a world where problems get solved - forever!    

What Happens Inside Your Body When You Get Flu Shot - And How to Boost Your Immune System In Fall/Winter

I got a flu shot today, as I do every year.  You should, too.

Some folks are afraid of side-effects.  The CDC reports that 90+% of the side-effects are rashes or swellings at the injection site.  So let’s all take a deep breath together.  I get a rash if I wear wool.  My husband was stung by a yellow-jacket while gardening last weekend and had a rash and a swelling.  The rashes and swelling with shots of all kinds go down in 24 hours, as his bee sting did.  Not exactly a major medical emergency. 

My sister swears that the one time she got a flu shot, she came down with flu, so therefore the flu shot must have given her flu.  Lots of people think this.  Reality: dead viruses can’t hurt you, and the viruses being injected into you are DEAD.  Sis is falling into the “if two things happen together, one thing must have caused another” fallacy.  Two things happening is a correlation; they happen together.  But correlation is not causality.  I sneezed just as I switched on my TV and the tube blew out, so I was convinced that sneezing caused the blow out.  [I was very young.  Have compassion.]  That’s ridiculous, yes, but so is dead viruses making you sick.

Truth is, there is a danger involved in flu shots, but it’s not the danger Sis is worrying about.  The real danger is that injecting dead viruses into my body gets my body focused on fighting this collection of three dead invaders [the most likely influenza variants to crop up this season] AT THE EXACT SAME TIME that there is a high probability that other viruses and bacteria – the whole soup of bugs that are circulating during the winter “flu season” – are also attacking you.  If the timing is just right, your immune system is focusing on building protection against a future invasion by the three deadly flus and another bug just happens to invade when your protection squad is not paying attention.  It can waltz in without being detected until it’s too late!  Now if you are used to thinking logically, you will ask: what is the mathematical probability that the timing will be exactly right to allow that second bug to invade just when your immune system is focusing on preparing its defense against the deadlier potential threat?  Not very high.  But you roll the dice every year over the span of a long life, and the probability that it will happen eventually gets high.  And unlikely events DO happen.  Sis won the virus jackpot on her very first outing.  But she’s still making a foolish choice. 

So, how about some basic info on how your immune system works?  Sounds good to me!

Your “immune system” is a collection of systems and processes that are all focused on 1) detecting, and then 2) fighting off, invasions of your body.  Your mouth, nose, eyes, lungs, digestive system and urinary/vaginal/anal openings are the most likely entry points, so you have the most defenders there.  Your “detection” defense consists of sentinel B and T cells who are constantly patrolling these high-risk areas, as well as all through the rest of your body, in case some miscreant gets past the border sentinels.  One type of T sentinel, the NK cells, also check your own cells for problems, eliminating most cancers before they are larger than a few cells.  [When they get confused and decide that your own body organ is an invader, you get auto-immune diseases.]  Detection is the weakest part of the system.  Far too many invaders manage to fake out or elude the sentinel B and T’s and establish a beachhead.  If you are a military history fan, you know that the first 24 hours of D-Day were critical.  Once the Allies had a beachhead and could land tanks and artillery, the war’s outcome was not in doubt.  In the same way, you want your sentinel cells to be numerous enough and smart enough to smash all the invaders before they start to settle in and proliferate.  [My programs use hypnotherapy, reiki and other tools to help your sentinels to keep their numbers up AND to be smart about taking out cancer and leaving healthy tissue alone.  Call or email for a FREE Getting Unstuck session.]

When a sentinel cell detects an invader, it alerts the major ground forces, the attack cells.  B sentinels alert their own B attack cells, who inform the T sentinel and attack cells.  At this point, a major reproductive move starts, as your major ground forces attempt to assemble an army large enough to take the invaders out.  BUT – this takes too much time, usually!  If the bug makes a beachhead, you are going to get sick.  If your attack cells can reproduce fast enough, it will be a quick, light illness.  [If they nip it before it even gets started, you won’t even know you were invaded.  Maybe you’re tired for 24 hours but don’t know why.  Now you know why.]  If your attack cells don’t get alerted soon enough or they are vastly outnumbered by the invaders, you’ll be down for the count.  Four days or four weeks sicker than a hound-dog in July. 

Swelling at the site of the injection just means that your sentinel cells noticed that your body has been invaded by the dead flu viruses, it alerted the B and T attack cells, who are starting to mount a defense.  This is a good thing!  Swelling, redness, fever and pain are the “cardinal signs” that your attack cells are fighting off an invasion, and many doctors are now suggesting that adults allow a moderate fever to remain.  [Virus replication is inhibited at higher temperatures.  If you fight your immune system and bring a low-moderate fever down, you are helping the invader and foiling your body’s defense strategy.] 

The sentinels tell the attack cells exactly what to look for.  The attack cells kill all the invading dead viruses AND manufacture memory cells who remember the exact configuration of the proteins that define those invading viruses.  This is why vaccination protected George Washington’s army from being decimated by smallpox, and it protects you and your children from death as well.  Those memory sentinels ID the invaders immediately and marshal a very strong defense from the attack cells.  With a vaccine, you have a massive army on your side in hours instead of the usual days.  Your attack cells have an excellent chance of wiping out the invasion before you even know it’s under way.  That 24 hours of tired and you dodged the measles, meningitis or pertussis bullet. 

It also explains why your baby and child needs as much protection as possible, as soon as possible, because their sentinel cells are not very clever yet.  Those sentinel cells can easily detect and the attack cells can do their thing, and create lifetime immunity [or long-term, as the case may be] memory cells for several diseases at once.  Sure they can.  

You wouldn’t want to be vaccinating your kid against pertussis when they are actively fighting off a measles invasion, but if everyone vaccinates, then there IS no measles virus floating around.  And keeping our herd immunity high is a matter of life and death – literally – for the adults and children with compromised immune systems who lack sufficient sentinels and attack cells and whose B and T’s can’t even handle the invasion of dead viruses and bacteria very well.  To protect them, we all have to make sure that we eradicate the childhood killer diseases, by not allowing them any hosts to take over.  I am old enough to know the terror my parents had to endure, because the killing and crippling diseases had no cure and, most importantly, no prevention.  

I deeply, passionately, don’t want us to return to those dreadful days.  I just returned from a vacation in Alaska and was reminded that the first Iditarod was literally a race against death.  Diphtheria had hit Nome and if treatment wasn’t received in 10 days, the whole town would be infected and most would die.  Death had Nome in its sights.  The serum did arrive in time, everyone was treated and the death rate was low.  But other towns that did not have the Alaska railroad and dedicated teams of dogs just died. 

Can you imagine that?  Because of modern vaccination, we are not a nation of sobbing parents, burying child after child, utterly helpless to prevent death.  Children aren’t growing up without their parents, who also died in droves of what is now preventable through vaccination.

Flu does kill, but not as many as diphtheria, pertussis or measles.  But I want to give my immune system every advantage, so I am building memory cells as I write this, and they will circulate at a high level for 3 months, protecting me for the start of the season.  I hope that you will give your hard-working sentinels the leg up that they need as well.

And what else can you do to help boost the number of sentinels circulating in your major entry points? 

Ø  Sleep.  The more you sleep, the more B and T cells you have.  Forget taking a supplement.  Sleep.

Ø  Reduce stress.  Take breath breaks.  Learn and practice Reiki and/or tapping (EFT).  Meditate.  Get out of your car and take transit, so you can snooze, do stress reduction and read calming philosophical literature or watch cute kitten videos.  I know someone who reads her Bible every day on the bus.  Someone else reiki’s and snoozes for his 2-hours-each-way commute.  Exercise every day.  You can do it.

Stress lowers your number of B and T sentinels, so you lose that precious time to zap the invaders before they get a beachhead.  It lowers the numbers of your B and T attack cells so you have less of an army to throw at the invaders when you finally detect them.  Take one of my serious stress zapping classes. 

And for heaven’s sake, don’t be a selfish schmuck and come to work sick and spread your damn germs to everyone else!  Stay in bed, give your attack team a chance to win the war quickly.  Why do you think you have all those fancy e-gadgets anyway?  If you aren’t allowed to work from home, take 7 hours of intense stress reduction and see how quickly you get better, and how much smarter you are when you DO go back.  My immune system has a lot to deal with during flu season.  I don’t need you adding millions of viral particles into our shared air with every sneeze, no matter how well covered. 

So:  get a flu shot.  Start reducing stress to as low as possible.  You’ll be reducing your chances of illness as well!

And call or email victoria.leo.reiki@gmail.com for a FREE Getting Unstuck session to get you started... www.soaringdragon.biz

The Road to Happiness - Right Through Your Bucket List

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPBgbOuU388

Are you laughing yet? No? It's OK, I'll come back in 5 minutes......

Online personal ads consistently say “Sense of humor,” and some studies of who gets called and responded to suggest that we do, indeed, care about this characteristic in our potential mates. 

Makes sense, too.  Try this logic chain:

·         Someone with a sense of humor is likely to take the small things lightly.  A genuine sense of humor is inconsistent with dramatics, and

·         Laughing is good for your health and

·         Laughing makes you attractive.

 We are biologically programmed, from earliest neonate to elder, to respond to a smiling face with an answering smile.  If I can get myself honestly laughing on the date, it not only means that I am having a good time, it also means that I will appear more attractive to you.   [Chimpanzees and gorillas know that a human smile means positive intentions, so it must go back at least 15 million years.]

Humor is a real asset in life as well as dating, for all three reasons.  Call up funny videos on You Tube or Facebook.  Flush the cortisol out of your body with short breaks to laugh.  Allow those tense muscles to naturally relax.  Your brain will clear, solutions will pop into consciousness and you’ll actually notice that the sun is shining, or you’ve got some blessed rain, and you’re alive.   You’ll take a deep breath and remember that it is very, very good to be alive, and loved by the universe and probably quite a few people and other animals.  You’ll take another breath and the whole day has shifted on its axis.

Pretty good ROI on 2 minutes of laughing, wouldn’t you say?

Want High Income, Recession-Proof Career, Deep Soul Clearing + Huge Positive Impact on Your Health?

And it all comes from the same FUN activity!

Whatever your career or business and your satisfaction level with it, I am sure that you remember your parents and high school guidance counselors pounding the "You have to go to college" message into you.  You might also recall the disdain all these fine folk expressed, overtly or merely through tone of voice, for the blue-collar workers.  Their jobs, because they work with their hands, were being offshored, but you - with your shiny new BA (or MA) - were a knowledge worker.  YOU were golden.  

Fast forward some decades.  Sure enough, the good-paying blue collar jobs of the Midwest were offshored and the sorta-good-paying factory jobs of the South were taken over by illegal immigrants.  Huge transition from fathers being able to support their families to fathers stuck in permanent unemployment, with no unemployment help, or re-employed at much less $, no benefits.  A world of constant anxiety, no security and no self-esteem.

Sounds like your guidance counselors, parents, pundits, everyone really, was right.  If you want money, security and good health (from lack of stress and from access to medical care and quality food), then you need to go to college.  Case closed.

But......  what about the people who listened to that advice more recently, with college costs having skyrocketed?  Huge education debt that is acting as an economic and personal sea anchor, preventing young people from buying homes, starting families or even moving away from their parents.

Compounded, of course, by the end of that lovely fantasy that knowledge work can't be offshored.  It was always logically true that knowledge work is the easiest to offshore.  No new factories to build.  All you need is a cheap call-center or a wired world where everyone from accountants to radiologists can do their work with a Hindi, Chinese, Vietnamese or Mexican accent.  Not to mention Hungarian.  My own work of deep transformational healing can be done from anywhere on Earth with a high-speed Internet link.  And not just by highly-skilled and experienced healers like me.  There are companies in the Puget Sound area who are hiring minimally-trained health coaches and hypnotists to work in crowded call-center environments at minimum wage!  Obviously, the quality isn't going to be as high as what I do with my academic degrees, certifications and years of experience, but this is exactly what has been happening to most of the knowledge-worker occupations.

So here is the actual reality:  A college degree is no longer the passport to the middle class, a road out of poverty and a road out of just-getting-by, that it used to be.  That equation is dead.  Unless you have a college degree in something immensely crucially essential and in demand, and which pays well, you may be feeding your mind, but you are wasting your money if you go anywhere other than the least expensive public college you can find.  [American Public University, entirely online, is very cost-effective, and I recommend it as one of a handful of quality for-profit colleges.]

Guidance counselors are still playing the "college for all" song.  So are all the "mean well" politicians.  But that is not the road to follow.  If you have someone in your family who is wondering how to get:

* Solid, steady income that cannot be offshored, ever, and which no recession will ever make a dent in AND
* a huge positive impact on your health because you have that steady security, and you can choose to either run your own business or work for a company AND
* the satisfaction of creation with your own two hands, 

.... then, my friend, you need to get them an apprenticeship in one of the eternal trades: plumbing, auto tech, electrician.  There are a few others, like chef and HVAC, that I can highly recommend, as well as craftsman carpentry.

Don't recoil in horror.

Shop Class as Soulcraft: An Enquiry Into the Value of Work (Matthew Crawford) sounded this alarm some years ago.  In my work with clients, I sound off on the value of creating things with your own two hands, as much as possible throughout the day, as the road to better physical health and to peace of mind.  The anxiety-stilling impact of doing creative work - anything from building a bird house to painting, coloring or crocheting - has been documented in medical studies as well as psychological.  The more you can create over the course of a day, the less tempting baby-back ribs are, the less self-control you have to exert to not eat dessert, the less onerous and more joyful exercise and movement becomes, the less interesting alcohol and tobacco addictions are, and the more "Damn, I'm GOOD!!!!" experiences you have in the course of a day.

Because I will assert to you with no equivocation whatsoever that the clothing you make yourself makes you feel like a queen, the doghouse you create yourself makes you feel as powerful as the Emperor Akbar and the book you write from the heart, or the paint you swirl on a paper or canvas is as sweet to your eyes as a priceless Turner.  

It's as close to the godly act of creation as we mere mortals ever get.  You need that fabulous feeling.  You DESERVE that fabulous feeling.  You can get that fabulous feeling.  

And when your grandkid the plumber arranges for you to never have a 4 hour wait for a stopped drain again, that feeling is priceless, too!  

Start today!

_______________________________________________________________________

Know what else you deserve?  You deserve to have all that procrastinating that you just can't figure out end too.  Every single time you waste time on Facebook instead of making progress toward your deeply felt dreams, you deserve better!  Every single time you decide that you will never succeed at what you want, you deserve better!

Accept my gift of a FREE Getting Unstuck session (not a sales pitch), and discover exactly what has really been holding you back or stopping you from achieving the life you really want.  Visit me at www.soaringdragon.biz, and we'll schedule your free session.  You need more than just "motivation" and inspiration.  You are plenty motivated to get what you want!  You just lack the specific tools to get back the barrier.   And I am very, very good at blockage-demolition!  www.soaringdragon.biz    victoria.leo.reiki@gmail.com

What is the #1 "Pain Point" people come to me to relieve? Go ahead and give it your best guess....

 What is the #1 quest people come to me for?  It’s not fame and entrepreneurial fortune, although many of them do, and I can definitely show people how to get more fortune.  It’s not a better career, although ditto.  It’s not freedom from physical pain and significant health problems, although many of them do.

Nope, the absolute #1 quest is – clarity.  If there were a tagline for this age it might very well be “I’m so confused and I don’t know what to do.”  What they mean is that what they really WANT is buried so deep under layers of “This knowledge is too scary – don’t, whatever I say, let me know this truth” that they couldn’t excavate it with a power-shovel.

Truth is so scary for so many of us because if we knew what we really needed and what we really wanted for ourselves we would have to initiate really, really scary conversations with people about the amount of relative power we have in our lives.  We might need to have conversations that threaten our financial survival or our definition of ourselves. 

When someone comes to me seeking clarity, it is nearly always true that clarity is being deliberately obscured as a self-protection mechanism by the person’s deep unconscious.

I particularly admire the clients who, when they start to realize what clarity would really mean, take a deep breath, strap on their Courage backpack, take their Courage vitamins, and plunge into the depths.  When that happens, the most glorious transformations become possible.  Sometimes, the reality isn’t as scary as the nightmares dreamed up by their (frequently mistreated or emotionally abandoned) child-selves.  Sometimes the reality is about right.  Sometimes the reality is much, much worse.

What is always true is that the courage to dive deep and face truth with deep breathing and slow steps and as many emotions as come up is a rare and glorious commodity.

The people who walk that path to their own and genuine truth, whether they are looking for clarity, more entrepreneurial success, a better career, better health or better something else, are my personal heroes.

God bless you all, every one!  You are the brave souls who bring light to human life.  Bless you all, every one.  

Get a FREE Getting Unstuck session!  Not a sales pitch, a real session.  Contact me at www.soaringdragon.biz or call 253-203-6676

Seek Happiness, yes! Insist on character and integrity in yourself, yes! They go together, yes, yes!!

 Character, integrity and self-control: Starting to look kind of attractive, actually

Do more of what makes you happy.  It’s so easy for this to become a joke, an invitation to self-indulgence and hedonistic indifference.  I was struck this week at how American culture has shifted from character values that I grew up with.  A woman that I gifted with a $100 piece of exercise equipment complained to the Facebook group admin because the equipment didn’t fit under her bed.  Oh, waaah.  [I mistook the vendor and posted it wrong, then corrected it.  Hint: the originally-described equipment wouldn’t have fit under her bed, either.  And since when am I or anyone else responsible for something fitting under your bed?  Bring it back or otherwise deal with it.]  

How I was raised: if someone gives you something as a gift, the ONLY acceptable response is “Thank you.”  Then shut up, completely, permanently and forever.  Even if it’s the wrong size, the color is horrible and it doesn’t fit under your bed.  You don’t pretend to be grateful to the gifter’s face and then spew complaints to an authority-figure third party or the rest of the family or Facebook Friend cohort behind your gifter’s back. 

People used to think less of you for that kind of weasely behavior.  No more.  And maybe that’s a mistake.  Maybe we want to take our culture back in the direction of character.  Maybe we want to embrace actions of integrity – like talking TO people, not ABOUT people.  Maybe we want to deal with it a bit more and whine a lot less.

I know that after the Great Recession, in which I and millions of other Americans lost our shirts, with a weak, contingent-labor-loving employment paradigm, and about 1% of the previous level of economic and emotional safety, a lot of us are very, very frightened, to our cores.  Frightened of outcomes that would be unthinkable in any other advanced First World country, like living on the street.  And when people are scared, and know that they have no power to get back at their oppressors, they look for the nearest easy, weak target for their rage.  They find that easy, weak target in people less able than themselves – people who are financially struggling even more (and can’t fight back effectively), who are disabled, who are a minority color or religion or culture.  Or even just the nice people like me who are kind, generous and not as sly and political as they are.

What if we all just collectively cut it out?

Do more POSITIVE THINGS that make you happy.  Color with your kids, then put them to bed early and relax with a book for an hour.  Make nice with your neighbors who like you kids and will supervise their homework while you go to the gym, listen to Taylor Swift and improve your health.   Find the “free museum” day and take yourself off for a date with joy.  As the frustrations of the day build up, stop, take five deep, slow breaths and visualize tropical paradises or some of your life’s happy memories.  You have them, you know you do! 

Do this enough times and you won’t come home ready to spew lies and vitriol on your fellow-travelers through the travails of life.

Do more of what makes you genuinely happy.  Kicking the dog – or your fellow struggling humanity – will never do it.  My mother taught me to have courage and be kind a half-century before Disney turned it into a cliché.  Do more of that – and you will be happy.  

Having trouble being happy?  Call for a FREE Getting Unstuck session!  No sales pitch, a free roadmap to how to make life less fraught and more fun.  You deserve to be happy....

Call 253-203-6676 or email victoria.leo.reiki@gmail.com.   www.soaringdragon.biz

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