Are You Sick of the Valentine Hoopla? A view that might surprise you.....

You Choose: What Does Valentine’s Day MEAN – Mindless Commercial Holiday or Deeply Meaningful Reminder Day?

What do you really believe about Valentine’s Day, right now? 

Some of my clients don’t celebrate.  There is a continuum from those who brush it off as a concocted, artificial, commercial sham, an excuse for everyone in a relationship to be guilted into gifts and expensive dinners, to the other extreme of a mellow “Let those who want to buy chocolate, do so.  It’s not harming anyone.”  Are you somewhere on that continuum?  

Others celebrate, and again there is a continuum of what is being celebrated.  At one end of the rainbow are the “We need a romance holiday, to help us remember that romance is what started us on the road to bills, diapers and trash pickup day.” And at the other end of the Let’s Celebrate are the people who are celebrating love, not romance.

I’m in the Celebrate Love camp.  In modern US culture, romance is what we mean we say “love,” but the word has a much broader definition.  That opening of the heart that is love encompasses how we cherish our favorite family, the brothers and sisters of the heart that our deep friendships become, the animals who enrich our souls and extend our healthy lifespan.  Our heart-opening is what makes us human.  Our caring for each other, those we know deeply and those of our community and nation whom we don’t know but who are beset with illness or troubles, is what ennobles our existence.  After all, every mammal species finds food, raises young and tries to stay alive.  Caring only for oneself means nothing.  Love for others, human and otherwise, known to us and unknown but in need, is our legacy from our 10,000 generations of ancestors and our gift to the future.  I think that enormous component of our humanity deserves at least one holiday – don’t you?

Can you celebrate Valentine’s Day as the holiday that belongs to every heart that knows and practices love? 

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Are you laughing yet? No? It's OK, I'll come back in 5 minutes......

Online personal ads consistently say “Sense of humor,” and some studies of who gets called and responded to suggest that we do, indeed, care about this characteristic in our potential mates. 

Makes sense, too.  Try this logic chain:

·         Someone with a sense of humor is likely to take the small things lightly.  A genuine sense of humor is inconsistent with dramatics, and

·         Laughing is good for your health and

·         Laughing makes you attractive.

 We are biologically programmed, from earliest neonate to elder, to respond to a smiling face with an answering smile.  If I can get myself honestly laughing on the date, it not only means that I am having a good time, it also means that I will appear more attractive to you.   [Chimpanzees and gorillas know that a human smile means positive intentions, so it must go back at least 15 million years.]

Humor is a real asset in life as well as dating, for all three reasons.  Call up funny videos on You Tube or Facebook.  Flush the cortisol out of your body with short breaks to laugh.  Allow those tense muscles to naturally relax.  Your brain will clear, solutions will pop into consciousness and you’ll actually notice that the sun is shining, or you’ve got some blessed rain, and you’re alive.   You’ll take a deep breath and remember that it is very, very good to be alive, and loved by the universe and probably quite a few people and other animals.  You’ll take another breath and the whole day has shifted on its axis.

Pretty good ROI on 2 minutes of laughing, wouldn’t you say?