Surviving Thanksgiving - with joy and genuine gratitude!

Families, these days as I suspect, always, don't always have a lot in common..... so conversation can be commonplace or contentious [the ever inappropriate "When are you going to get married/get the career that *I* want you to pursue, etc.?"] but it is only very rarely charming, witty, engaging and fun.

Hence we need something to do with the beloved family that we nagged to come visit us. What the heck do you do after all the rushing around for the meal, and the after-meal ball game, are over?

Movies are popular - people can enjoy AND SHUT UP for two hours, hallelujah. Going out somewhere - zoo, museum, etc. works if it isn't Puget Sound (always raining) or Snow Zone (unless you can get them skiing, making snow people and castles, etc.).

Another idea is to set up creativity projects. Get the contentious people out of the house by any means (an attraction, get them arrested, don't invite them in the first place, whatever works), then settle in with:

** Coloring station. I LOVE this and so do more and more people. Get some nature oriented natural scenes from Dover Publications. Heaven.

** Go to Joanne's or Michael's and buy holiday ornament kits and chivvy, nag, encourage everyone to grab one and start painting.

There are also decorations to be painted. Get the kids involved if it's not suitable for outdoor running around.

Creating things generates biochemical changes in the body that leads to happy feelings! Consider paper-based mosaics and other fun outlined in my book 101 Stress Busters.

https://www.amazon.com/Busters-Healthy-Longevity-Through-Barriers-ebook/dp/B01MZ4HNRZ (ebook or print)

While you are creating, get the older folks reminiscing about their childhoods. What did they do to create? Did they sew their clothes? Could they teach you how? Did they ever take art classes? Did they have unmarried siblings or cousins? Were any of them creative?

You get the picture. Steer the conversation AWAY from the traditional things they did at Thanksgiving, with large families and people who only lived 5 miles away from each other. They nag and complain about you, because they want to keep things static, but the arrow of time moves, and what used to be happy and healthy no longer is, for many of us.

If you can get it going, ** having everyone right a letter to their future self, ten years in the future, making predictions, expressing hopes and dreams - and DON'T SHARE THEM or they won't be honest and real.

How about, while you're coloring, ** have people dream-vacation. Sure, there will be the usual tropical island, because Americans don't get enough rest and holiday time, and we have more reasons for anxiety, with no health care, fewer good jobs and an uncertain economic future BUT keep the conversation going, dig down deep, ask for details. They can dream of more than sunscreen and lying in the sun, doing nothing, if they are forced to. No one is really that dull-witted. Suggest excursions. Would they reef-snorkle? Take a boat to a nearby island and picnic?

And maybe, if you're lucky, have people write down a gratitude list, and put the lists in a bowl and pick a list and read it, with respect, without trying to figure out who dunnit, and without shaming or criticizing the writer. True gratitude, beyond the platitudes, is what this holiday is all about.

The original thanksgiving day was in Virginia. The folks prayed, ate some seafood and went to bed. That might not be practical unless you live alone or with someone equally spiritual, but the closer you can get to the true spirit of humility and gratitude, the happier you will be when you wake up on National Leftovers Day (aka Black Friday).

Bless us all, every one.