Do You Want the FDA and Medicare to Save You From Isolation and Dementia?

A select committee of the National Academy of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine has identified a BIG problem for Americans as we age: hearing aids are not a covered medical expense in Medicare, and Congress has a history of resisting changing that.  Costs average at least $5000/pair and research indicates that at least half of us who need this help try to do without, with results that vary from uncomfortable to disastrous.  Sociologists, social workers and medical researchers have long linked hearing loss to increasing social isolation in elders.  If you can’t hear, you can’t keep your social networks strong, which in its turn is closely linked to poorer physical and mental health.  Now Alzheimer’s researchers, including Dr. Frank Lin at Johns Hopkins, part of the committee, say that an aging brain that is over-tasked with trying to discern language from faint, muffled sounds is a brain that is deprived of the power to maintain cognitive tasks.  In other words, if you need a hearing aid and don’t get it, you are making cognitive decline inevitable.  

The obvious answer, for those who can’t afford a $5000 set themselves, nor the Medicare Gap policies that can cover them, is to do without.  As the Boomer generation continues to swell the elder ranks, this is becoming a public health problem.  In addition to the purely humanitarian aspect, adding to the ranks of dementia is not in the best interests of the nation.  Some members of the committee want the FDA to make hearing aids an over-the-counter purchase to help drive down the cost, while other members caution that hearing aids require careful tuning so the comparison with OTC reading glasses doesn’t really fit.  The committee also asked for more consumer information, including forcing vendors to tell buyers if the product can only be tuned by a particular provider (locking you in if you don’t like the service) and forcing vendors to unbundle the product and services, so that people can determine how much fitting and tuning they want (or really “can afford”.)

The committee also had specific suggestions for helping an elder who needs hearing assistance and can’t afford a hearing aid: speak more slowly and distinctly, not more loudly; face the listener; reduce background distraction noises, so meeting in a library is better than a crowded coffee shop; turn off the radio and TV; rephrase, rather than repeating yourself.  The latter is particularly important.  If the person can’t hear certain sounds well, using different words will be more likely to lead to comprehension.  And do your best to get Congress to change its mind…. Which will undoubtedly require a new Congress, one focused on improving the lives of ordinary Americans.   No elder should be forced to slide deeper and deeper into an isolating silence because they lack the financial resource to both hear and eat. 

Don't Stay Stuck!  Blast through the barriers that are preventing you from living the life you want!  You CAN do it!  www.soaringdragon.biz

Should Everyone Skip College and Just Start a Business? Angela Duckworth and grit

 A colleague of mine, whose brains and good sense I respect, made an impassioned case to a group of women this week, about an upcoming book she was planning, in which she intends to encourage women to forget about college and just start a business.  I’m simplifying in the interests of making this article shorter than her book, but at the 20,000 foot level, she believes that 1) economic independence is the key to every other form of empowerment, and 2) sexism is rampant so 3) start your own business.  And you don’t need a college degree to be successful in business.

Sounds good?

Well, I see some problems.  There are some kinds of work that just do not lend themselves to self-employment at all – police detective, forensics scientist and firefighter come to mind – and for others, entrepreneurship is the Hard Way.  It is possible to be a sole practitioner MD, for example, but the realities of business life in the USA make that a suicidal choice.  You can be an organizational whiz and start a business, but there ain’t much low-hanging fruit in that market.  Contrast that with the joys of being able to focus exclusively on what you do well, because the 40 hours/week of marketing for business is on someone else’s shoulders.  A good senior admin can have salary, benefits, vacations, praise and advancement in a government or business.  I needed two master’s degrees plus a year’s study in hypnotherapy to be able to rapidly and permanently demolish the barriers keeping my entrepreneur clients from their heart’s desire.  Not to mention state licensing.  The number of occupations that can yield much better results for economic independence within an organization are legion.  My own choice to solopreneur does not mean that I buy into the “everyone should be an entrepreneur” ideology. 

The 2^nd problem I have with my estimable colleague’s advice is the Don’t Go To College.  If you are eschewing academics in order to get an AA in an in-demand, highly-saleable skill like radiology/solography tech (another business you can’t set up in your garage, thank you, legislature), or take on a plumbing apprenticeship, then hooray, I agree with you 100%.  Now close your eyes and imagine an army of women taking up the plumbing tape.  Six figure income entrepreneurship and very little marketing moxie required.  Auto mechanics is mostly computer programming and intelligence at this point in history.  Electricians. Drool, drool, drool.  So, yes, let’s stop pushing everyone into college, and get most young Americans into job-ready occupational training.  I know that the USA has an understandable wariness about repeating the “black kids go to trade school, white kids go to college and then law school” or “boys get trained, girls get typing” paradigm.  Our President is a black lawyer; our First Lady is another black lawyer, but that’s not the norm.  Yes, I get it.  BUT – a focus on giving kids career-ready training does not have to become a vehicle for holding back races or sexes.  What we have now is an entire generation crippled by education debt getting a BA/BS or even graduate degree in a field like Documentary Film Production that doesn’t have much chance of leading to economic stability. In contrast, you can create a product and huckster it with no formal education at all, beyond basic literacy.   I understand the disillusion with college.

The You Don’t Need College argument misses a key point though:  College teaches you how to think rationally and critically, possibly for the first time in your life.  It forces people who have no knowledge of how science works to learn about experimentation, reproducibility and some basic statistics.  And it requires you to sacrifice your time and your impulsive choices to a dedicated quest for a goal.

On the same day that my colleague denounced wasted time in college, I read about Angela Duckworth’s research on grit, the ability to stick to a long-term course of action, and delay gratification of short-term urges in the pursuit of a big reward.  Many researchers before her have impressive results on the advantage of persistence and emotional resilience, over other factors like talent, intelligence or other gifts of one’s DNA.  Here’s her TED talk, for some details:

https://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit?language=en

Here is a national Geo article:  http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/10/141015

Listen to this:
“…what college admissions officers and business leaders have told her they're looking for these days from applicants is in keeping with her findings. It's no longer students who've padded their résumés by doing a little bit of everything or just prospects with the best college grades; they want people who stuck with something meaningful to them over time and demonstrated some level of mastery, and it doesn't necessarily matter in what.”

Business leaders have told me this over and over again: they want to hire someone who has a college degree, in anything.  Why?  Because it proves that the person can persist in a goal FOR YEARS.  Including jumping through hoops that don’t always make sense to the 18-year-old mind.  Academia has some crazy hoops indeed.

The ability to persist at a goal for years, and the ability to jump through your client’s hoops, are essential skills of any worthwhile undertaking, including being successful in business.  If you genuinely don’t want anyone telling you what to do, about anything, ever, you only have two options: a lower business income than your potential or therapy to blow up the mental blockage caused by an early-life authority figure.  I’m serious.  Nobody who is both honest with you and successful in business has the psychology of a tantruming two-year-old. Clients expect you to be working for them, not doing what you damn well please, when you damn well please.  If you don’t serve their needs, they won’t buy from you.  The sweet spot is finding something that makes you want to soar with creativity and joy AND is the solution to a major pain-point experienced by people with lots of money.

When I took the grit test (URL below), one of the items asks you about persisting in a goal for years – one of the attributes of a college grad.

https://www.sas.upenn.edu/~duckwort/images/8-item%20Grit%20081011.pdf

So, no, I don’t think you should ditch college and just go straight into business.  For one thing, knowing some history, geography, anthropology, math, English grammar and vocabulary will enhance your business potential and keep you from embarrassing yourself with stupid mistakes. Get that broad education that you didn’t get in high school, distracted as you were by blazing hormones and immaturity, and couple it with a concentration in something sale-able, which could include business.  If you really love creating documentaries, make it a double major and prepare yourself to use one profession to bankroll the other.

At least an AA in something sale-able is more relevant than ever before, and the full education of your mind and soul through all those basic subjects toward a bachelor’s at an inexpensive university is even more essential.  Take that preparation and then fly into entrepreneurship, if that fits your personality and your market analysis.  Or fly with another set of dragons, into another form of lifetime fulfillment and joy, like I did. 

Victoria C. Leo blasts through the barriers that keep her clients from their heart’s desire.  Find the program that blasts through your problem at www.soaringdragon.com, join her Facebook group Healing Minds, Healing Bodies, or email for a FREE Getting Unstuck session at victoria.leo.reiki@gmail.com.

What do you invest your life in?

My dearest friend for 27 years died this week after a very short illness.  I'm very glad that her illness was so short, for her sake, but have struggled with the huge hole in my heart.  Such a loss, such an angel she has been.  The outpouring of support and affection for her, and for her husband and two daughters, has belied the fear that some of my clients have: why should I spend my life being a good person?  No one will care or remember me.  If you pour good wine into a golden goblet, it will taste ambrosial.  If you pour good wine into a peeling vessel, or one with holes, you'll end up with nothing. It's not being good, kind and generous that is sometimes wasted; it's continuing to pour your good wine into rubbishy glasses that is the potential problem.  So stop wasting time with biological relations who aren't good, kind and generous, even if they are your descendants.  Spend your time exclusively with good people.

The Dhammapada tells us that what we surround ourselves is what we ourselves become, so surround yourself with the good and virtuous.

I loved Cindi Johnson because she was so lovable: kind, generous, funny, smart, tenacious, dedicated to her remedial college math students (how many lives did she save by helping low-income kids get their AA and start a career-track?) and always ready to open her heart.  But I really loved her because of who I became, year by year, because of her.  At my wedding, where she was matron of honor, I told my assembled friends that I was the person I was because they had honed me and shaped me, year by year, like you create a sparkling gem from an unprepossessing stone.  To the extent that I am good and virtuous, it is because I surrounded myself with the good and virtuous, and walked away from the mean and selfish.

I will miss Cindi at one level or another until the day I die.  And her legacy is much, much more than just three grandchildren.  Her legacy is also the array of sparkling gems that her life honed and polished, all the lives that deviated from their course and moved closer to goodness and virtue.

Every faith and wisdom tradition on earth, now and in the past, extols the value of one precious gem vs. a pile of junk-stuff, and the value of one good person to change the world.  They were right.  I was blessed by this good woman's life for 27 years.  There is no greater epitaph for a life.

It's a good year. No, it's a bad year. No, it's.....

We so blithely talk about having a “good” or “bad” year.  What we mean is a time in which we got what we wanted out of life - we had health, a good marriage, a nice income, low stress – or we had a time that presented many challenges, sometimes intense challenge on one front – exceptional health challenges or frustrating unemployment .  My “bad” years frequently feature being nibbled to death by ducks – dozens of mild to moderate problems, but constant and relentless  - that lead your psyche to believe that the Lords of Creation have it in for you (as a Christian client referred to it) or that life is just a constant struggle with one stumbling block after another.

2015 was a difficult year for me.  2016 is shaping up to have lots of challenges as well.  I lost 5 weeks of my life to a serious bronchitis attack and now my beloved sister is riddled with cancer and breathing through her last weeks, the latter hitting with almost no warning.   Why did my goddess, angel and animal spirit cards, not to mention my Akashic consults, all tell me that this was going to be a “good” year?  Are they wrong – or nuts?

Maybe the latter is closest to the truth.

I think the disconnect can be explained by a story from one of the Buddhist scriptures, which I will paraphrase and shorten.  A farmer had a young son who was an excellent helper.  That’s good, his neighbors told him.  Then the boy broke his leg and it set poorly; he would always have a limp.  That’s bad, his neighbors said.  Years pass and the nation is at war.  All the young men are conscripted for military service.  All the fathers lose their young male labor and have to work hard in the fields.  Except our farmer.  Because the boy limps, he is excused from military service.  That’s good, the neighbors say. The young man does not die in the war and remains to help work on the farm, albeit at a reduced capacity.

This constant mental categorizing event outcome as “good” or “bad” is the major cause of our life’s dissatisfaction.  If things aren’t good or bad, but just are, we can move on to maximizing the value of what we have, like the farmer.  His emotions weren’t up and down, fluctuating with the “story” that his mind created about reality, like his neighbors were doing.  Some people read the story and think that the moral is that you have to wait to decide if something is good or bad, because of course the story ends up “good” – the young man does not die.  But the real meaning is much more profound.

So what about me?  Maybe I can be very sad, weep and journal and be hugged, but my sister’s untimely death isn’t “bad,” per se, just very, very sad.  Maybe it just is.  Maybe the bronchitis just is.  [Compare this with “the bronchitis is actually good because it got me to cut back on the number of overseas trips I was planning for 2016, which were exhausting to think about, much less do” which is the psych cognitive-behavioral approach, and a very good one it is, too, in getting us to see another possibe interpretation of the available facts.  But with all its virtues, it is only turning bad into good, not walking away from bad and good as categories, period.]

So I don’t think all those cards and Akashic messages were wrong.  It was my interpretation of them that was off-base.  They didn’t say I would have a “good” year.  They said that many blessings were coming to me.  It was I who mistranslated that into “nothing sad is going to happen.”   When I take a more balanced look at the year, the blessings – so many more than in 2015 – stand out in stark relief.   My gosh, what a shower of blessings, in business, in health and in new friendships and spiritual relationships.   Not nothing but blessings of course.  But blessings there are.  And all of it – without being labeled good, bad or both/neither – just is.

If you ask me how the year is going, I may make you comfortable by saying, “Many blessings,” because small-talk doesn’t require philosophy or truth.  But know that I know what kind of year I’m having.  I’m having a year in which I am alive, and all of it just is.

The Nurturing of Life

Tubman's Glory is Our Hour of Glory as Well

 I admit it, when the news first broke about Harriet Tubman being chosen for the new $20 bill, I was disappointed.  For about 30 seconds, I mourned the loss by my top choice from the short-list.  Eleanor Roosevelt has always been one of my heroines, with her tireless advocacy for the homeless and dispossessed of the Great Depression, and all the courage that took, to allow herself to be so hated by the big-money interests, what we would call the 1% today.  She cared about women, about children, about animals and natural resources, about infrastructure and about the power of the vote.  Members of the 1% who break ranks and stand for economic and social justice - a country that lives up to its hype - deserve great praise.  Eleanor worked monster days to get fractious enemies to collaborate on the initial UN documents.  The fact that the UN isn’t as effective as she/we all hoped it would be doesn’t change the glory of her dedication to that hope.

But it was only 30 seconds.  I’ve always admired and adored Harriet Tubman also, another woman of enormous personal courage, who maintained a sharp tell-it-like-it-is tongue for those who needed a swift kick and a kind heart for those in affliction – that difficult combination.  Contrary to what some of her admirers have been saying, she was not a one-issue woman.  She didn’t just care about ending slavery.  She didn’t just care about the economic and social plight of newly-freed but resource-destitute black farmers, and the urban black poor.  She also championed women of all colors, who were no more powerful than slaves in the mid-19^th century, who were beaten and killed with impunity, who had no power to obtain a divorce or retain custody of their children if they were dumped by a husband wanting a younger model, or even travel as they chose.   She cared about factory workers who signed contracts forbidding them to quit or complain of abuse and ill treatment, and who also could be killed by goon squads with impunity if they tried to organize or blow the whistle.  She annoyed abolitionists who sanctimoniously condemned black slavery while making a fortune on this factory-slavery, by calling them on their hypocrisy.  She cared about the treatment of animals, horses in transportation and on farms, and pets in the cities.  No one is perfect, and she had plenty of human blindness and flaws, but she tried hard to make the world a better place for us, her spiritual descendants, and for that, she absolutely deserves the place of honor on America’s most popular bill. 

Jackson will be gone soon, although not entirely; he will be on the flip side of the bill.  Perhaps the next generation can get rid of him entirely.  Much ink has been spent on his racist, genocidal actions against the native people of the south.  He was also an awful president, per se.  His spoils system fit the backwoods money-grubbing mentality of his peers on the frontier, but as a responsible principle to run the government of a multi-ethnic, multi-religious supposedly-better-than a child’s view of “fairness,” it’s appalling.  The fact that historians are reluctantly, and not whole-heartedly stating the obvious – He was an awful President; any one of the other candidates would have been a genuine statesman in comparison; OMG - is a belated step in the right direction. 

And a big shout-out to the writers who have managed to discuss all the various candidates for the new face of the bill without resorting to cheap racial reasoning.  Soapbox commences:  No, everyone who says that Harriet was their original #1 choice isn’t a better human being than people who originally had a different candidate in mind, even if they are telling the truth.  All the potentials were wonderful, admirable people who would honor our country’s currency and ourselves for recognizing their value.  No, people who had a warmer spot for a different woman aren’t racists.  If we used that word sparingly, and for people who are truly and provably motivated by hate, then the real tribulations of my sister and two brothers, and my black friends, would not risk being trivialized by over-use.  I don’t want to see the word “racist” trivialized.  The pain that true creeps like Donald Trump cause is too serious.  End of soapbox.

Everyone’s favorite bill is getting a face to be proud of.  Glory, glory, hallelujah!  One giant leap for all of us….

Being Real

Over a century ago, this American essayist wrote a profound truth about human nature: we don't want to hear the truth about ourselves. We respond to truth from others like we respond to rattlesnakes. We don't tell ourselves the truth. And our conscious mind is so 100% focused on protecting our social selves from any kind of negativity that we suppress all that we could know. But all that energy spent fending off deep self-knowledge, if it were harnessed to the wagon of our dreams? My god, we could rocket to the stars, couldn't we? So much peace of mind,just waiting to be harnessed. Such creativity - blazing fountains of creativity! - if only we could reclaim all that blighting energy.

What are we so afraid of? The scorn of the "world" when we show/admit that we aren't perfect people, in one or all of our roles (entrepreneur/career, parenting, spouse, citizen, Christian/Jew/Muslim/other - every single label that matters to us - and we all have labels that matter to us!) The disappointment of loved ones who see the real us for the first time. [They preferred to put us on a pedestal, so they didn't have to do the hard work of being real, either.

Take one small step nearly every day. Be real in one moment with one person. Eventually you'll be able to fire your social self's internal "safety net" but don't expect to do that today. For today, one person, one moment. As the Buddha said, you fill the pitcher drop by drop.