Showing posts with label brene. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brene. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

The REAL Reason You Are Nervous About Public Speaking. And Maybe Keep Missing Goals as Well? Check this out....

I want to bring my interview with Shirley Dalton to your attention, and for a specific reason. Sure, I mention my new class for entrepreneurs and her fun products, but the REAL reason I want you to listen is because I made a colossal mistake, on the air, and didn't even realize it until after I listened to the recording. It's what I call a Somebody Please Shoot Me (SPSM) moment. We all have them. I am an experienced speaker and have been healing and transforming lives with these specific tools for about 17 years. Yet I goofed and didn't even hear myself do it until it was too late to fix.

And I was totally OK after about 10 seconds of SPSM. I laughed and called my husband who said, "Oh, dear." He grew up in the south. "Oh, no," is as harsh as the language gets.

And this fear of a SPSM moment is 100% why so many people fear public speaking, and so many people want to write books or become rutabaga farmers or train for a marathon - and don't do it. At a very deep level of our unconscious minds, there is a collection of neurons that remember shame and humiliation from childhood and start screaming NOOOOOOOO.

But here's the key: you don't have to feel shame and humiliation. Those feelings arise naturally from thoughts. If you do deep hypnotherapy on the thoughts and eliminate the conclusions that you've been humiliated, that no one will respect you, that you are (fill in the blanks) , then the feelings only come up for 10 seconds - and then you genuinely laugh. Spanish proverb We make plans; God laughs. So I laugh along.

My recommendation for today: journal about what you're afraid of. Dig deep into those barriers. Admit that the barriers exist. Start the process with memories that sting, breathe into them and say, "So what? So, idiots laughed at me. I made a mistake. It happens. Life is good." Keep breathing and reciting until the feelings subside. [Then sign up for a 30 day program with me, and dig that stuff out by the roots and never be bothered by it ever again - and watch career, business, book, exercise or rutabagas soar into the sky.]


And I'm guessing you'd rather know what my SPSM moment was? So you can listen for it? Well, it was a humdinger. I said the green chakra is the throat. It is, and always will be, your heart - of course. Stress does amazing things to brain function..... [See my new book 101 Stress Busters for all the fun ways to reduce stress so you have fewer SPSM moments.]

These moments WILL happen. When they do, laugh. And then let go.

www.soaringdragon.biz
Victoria C Leo


Monday, April 25, 2016

Being Real

Over a century ago, this American essayist wrote a profound truth about human nature: we don't want to hear the truth about ourselves. We respond to truth from others like we respond to rattlesnakes. We don't tell ourselves the truth. And our conscious mind is so 100% focused on protecting our social selves from any kind of negativity that we suppress all that we could know. But all that energy spent fending off deep self-knowledge, if it were harnessed to the wagon of our dreams? My god, we could rocket to the stars, couldn't we? So much peace of mind,just waiting to be harnessed. Such creativity - blazing fountains of creativity! - if only we could reclaim all that blighting energy.

What are we so afraid of? The scorn of the "world" when we show/admit that we aren't perfect people, in one or all of our roles (entrepreneur/career, parenting, spouse, citizen, Christian/Jew/Muslim/other - every single label that matters to us - and we all have labels that matter to us!) The disappointment of loved ones who see the real us for the first time. [They preferred to put us on a pedestal, so they didn't have to do the hard work of being real, either.

Take one small step nearly every day. Be real in one moment with one person. Eventually you'll be able to fire your social self's internal "safety net" but don't expect to do that today. For today, one person, one moment. As the Buddha said, you fill the pitcher drop by drop.