Having Fun with 23andme - the joys and broader vision

Genetic identity products like the 23andme product I purchased recently have been wildly popular.  The US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) took the medical portion of the product off the market until concerns about how the info would be used could be addressed.  It’s so easy for someone who doesn’t have a deep background in genetics to misunderstand what a predisposition could refer to. 

As a larger issue, there is a real danger of employers in the US getting access to genetic information, because they WILL refuse to hire, and WILL find excuses to get rid of any person who might (big word there!) have a medical problem in the future – that their health insurance company would have to pay for.  The real villain in that scenario is insurance that is tied to an employer, not a basic right of citizenship, because it gives your employer a powerful motivation to get rid of you based on your potential for expensive health problems.  If your health is an issue for you and the community that pays for all its citizens, your employer is out of the loop.

But back to products that promise to give you insights into your genetic identity.  The 23andme product that I bought for myself and my husband included some basics from the nuclear DNA and from mitchondrial DNA with (for men only) some info from the Y chromosome.  To recap:  Your nuclear DNA comes from your mother and your father, and gets shuffled around in each generation.  Your mitochondrial DNA comes from the egg that started your journey to life, so it is entirely from your mother.  [Your dad’s sperm has nothing but nuclear DNA to make it as light and fast as possible.]  It doesn’t mix and match with every generation, but provides an unbroken, except by mutations, lineage from some very ancient woman.  Men’s Y-chromosomes also provide an unbroken lineage, except for mutations, from a very ancient man. 

Another aside: a group of Jewish South Africans who claimed biological descent as Cohens (a priestly family in ancient Palestine) were never believed because to all outward appearances they were just black South Africans.  But a Y-chromosome study proved them right; that DNA came from ancient Palestine and was similar to other Jewish Cohens who were still living in their ancestral home. 

I will admit that I paid the money ($180 for the two of us) for entertainment purposes, and that’s a good way to approach any consumer product.  We both could see the known outlines of our ancestry popping up in the numbers. 

What everyone except me misinterpreted and what I want to talk about is the small amounts of DNA in which I resemble folks in east and west Africa, Oceania and East Asia.  The immediate assumption is that I have a distant ancestor from those places.  I wouldn’t mind if I did, and it could be.  A more likely explanation is the mundane genetic fact that similarity doesn’t necessarily mean direct ancestry.  It most likely means that I have some very old DNA that hasn’t changed since all of us were encapsulated in 2000 individuals living in East Africa, 60,000 years ago.  A bit of it went west to west Africa, a bit of it took off into the Middle East and from there travelled to East Asia and then to Oceania, and the rest became the Neolithic farmers who moved into Europe, killed off the hunter/gatherers and took their land.  Horticulture and agriculture allowed my ancestors to feed more kids and breed more fighters, it was that simple.   My mitochondrial DNA supports that narrative.  There are a lot of fascinating details, that I am keeping appropriately private.  I’m less Neandertal than the average European. 

And I am re-assessing the “purely entertainment” motive.  Right after I received my genetic info, I researched more about the various identified groups and genes and found myself profoundly moved.  One of my course offerings is a fascinating journey to consult with one’s biological forebears.  It has been inspiring and profoundly healing for many people.  Looking at the geographical distribution of those maternal haplogroups led me to take the journey myself, psychically touching those women who lived so long ago.  [Email me for more information on the course.]

We can get so wound up in our daily to-do lists that we forget to, as my course encourages, visit with our very distant ancestors, to put a larger perspective on our lives.  All 10,000 generations of them changed their culture and their world in all the small ways that a person’s life does.  

We have the opportunity and the privilege to be beacons of love, comfort and inspiration in our own time.  This little glimpse into the past reminded me of my duty to do my very best with the life that all these fascinating ancestors have given me.

I'll Think of Something

I'm exasperating.  I've been told that, anyway.  A long time ago, when I was running a technical certificate program for the University of California Santa Cruz Extension, I was the most exasperating, frustrating direct-report that my Dean had, according to him.  My crime?  Apparently, my stock response to every impossible dilemma was a deep breath and a determined "I'll think of something."  At the height of his exasperation, he told me that he wanted to live long enough to hear me admit that something was impossible. "Hmm," sez I, my standard non-committal response, whilst thinking "Good luck with that!"  I don't know if he has passed to his eternal rest yet, but I have some bad news for him - I haven't stopped saying it.   

And believing it.

Now, please understand: I am NOT saying that I can change the course of history or the externally-generated circumstances of my own life through sheer force of will.  I have dozens of friends and acquaintances who are beating themselves up because they couldn't manifest wealth in the midst of the biggest depression since 1930, or they can't change the course of hurricanes. [No, I'm not making up that latter.]  

It's not all about you, grasshopper.  Or, as I tell people, "There may be a god - who knows? - but it for sure ain't you."  Being an ordinary caring, loving, striving human being is a fine destiny.  You don't need to be the lord of life and death, heaven and earth, to be happy.  What you need to do is do your darndest to stay on top of the waves, and after you have done your very best, let go of the outcome.  That is easier said than done and not the subject of today's chat.

I just want to focus on the "doing your darndest" part.  My Dean told me that the buildings were underutilized, so I started researching and brainstorming and trying things out.  My new lineup of classes included Sunday, lunchtime, late afternoon and hybrid classes. Revenues soared.  When the main campus wanted X and we needed Y, my let's-negotiate spinal reflex drove him nuts.  No means no, Victoria.  Except that I never actually believe that.  [I have learned to moderate my spinal reflex with family members.  That's a different area of life.  Sometimes, the most loving response to No, is OK. A topic for another day.]  

I found this Viking ship somewhere (Pinterest? Facebook?) and would be happy to attribute it, if I could.  It sits on the wall facing me as I work, to remind me that when one door slams, I just need to find another one. And another one.  And another one.  And if they are all locked, climb to another floor.  Or stay home and wait for the EMT's.  

If the wind dies, take to the oars.  If the wind turns into a hurricane, batten down the hatches, tarp the open deck, set a sea anchor, and breathe.  Pray or invoke reiki.  No hurricane lasts forever.  If you end up on a foreign shore, recon first, before you disembark.  When you know the area is relatively safe, get out, find food, make friends with the natives, stay clear-eyed.  Keep thinking of something until you can't think any more, then ask friends to brainstorm with you.  When all ideas fail, it's batten down and breathe.  Take a nap or a day off, then go back to thinking of something.  Go back to the oars.

It's the Simple Things..... That Are So Hard

The Power of Simple and Sincere Praise

Sometimes it's the small things that count.  I have a client who recently transferred to a new group with a "mentor" who was making him miserable.  In listening to him, the causes and solutions became clear.

The cause?  She raced along at breakneck speed, such that Michaelangelo or Einstein couldn't have kept up - and used an exasperated tone of voice when anyone asked a question or even asked her to slow down.  You can understand his pissossity at the meta-communication that he was an idiot.  You can understand why he wanted the basic respect that he deserved as a highly-regarded professional.

I started by getting him to reframe the situation from anger to an understanding that this young thing just didn't know how to teach.  When he was sure that no sane person would actually think he's an idiot, he was able to hear that, and shift his energy from defense to commiseration.  Who doesn't remember what a jerk they were when they were 20-something?

Then I got him to manage her - with praise. The first time he thanked her and praised her for her knowledge and thanked her again for her efforts (all very sincerely), he saw the first smile he'd ever seen on her face.  "She walked away with a spring in her step," he marveled.  A month later, he has no trouble interacting with her.  She will probably continue to not know how to teach anything, but the exasperated bad manners are gone - and in any case, my client knows how to interpret her bad manners.  Reframing it as her incompetence at teaching [“these young folks,” he tells himself] allows him to genuinely praise the things she does well. 

His stress level (and all the bad effects that brings) is way down, so it’s another example of how healing minds heals bodies.....  The next time someone insults instead of mentoring you, or you feel legitimate anger arising, stop, take a deep breath, and consider the possibility that your "enemy" is just incompetent - and we've all suffered from that disease.  The same person who has literally saved lives can't figure out her GoPro, allegedly the simplest camera on the planet.  I need compassion.  We all do.