The Real Cost of Over-Focusing on What is Lost

My cats are incredible teachers. They teach me patience - because they haven't got any. They teach me not to let my heart get hardened by betrayal and unfairness - because their hearts are always open.  And this month they reminded me of the importance of looking outward and forward.  The only part of my life that wasn't turned upside down by a remodel was my office. [That awful fate comes next month, god help me. ] So while the abode was in chaos the cats spent the day in a large open crate on the back porch. They had vistas of forest to behold, squirrels to squint at, birds to bedevil.

        What did they do? None of the above. Orono curled up into a ball and refused to emerge.  Gabriel spent the entire day staring inward at my office, intermittently meowing. There were birds eating from the porch railing (seed had fallen from the feeder above) not two feet from his head - and he is a mighty hunter and a great bird-watcher, ordinarily - and he was staring and crying fitfully, focused on what he had lost and no longer had. What a dork, is that what you're thinking? I was overwhelmed with compassion for them both, poor souls, because I know how many times I have done the same, sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes for hours or days or (ouch) years.



The temptation to bemoan the lost past is so strong.   We know the value of what we have lost.   We don't really know the value of what we have to gain. Our amygdala has been set by evolution to the "worry about it" setting, and we DO, as a matter of biology, tend to come down on the side of caution when approaching the unknown.   With good reason, if you have read Man the Hunted and know the reality of the lives our ancestors faced.  It's darned inconvenient now, though, when we are truly safe most of the time.  Only meditation and other inner retuning can tame that automatic fear-caution filter. 

 So, my poor kitties are a model and teacher for me once again.  I look at them and resolutely focus on the future.... letting go of losses and resolutely lighting candles to dispel the darkness.


[This is adapted from Chapter 16 of my upcoming title Red State, Blue Heart, due for release in June 2016.  Want to get an announcement of the release?  Email victoria. leo.reiki@gmail.com.]

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